12 Days of CaReesemas
by iheartShules
Summary: 12 interconnected oneshots that lead up to Christmas that might just bring Reese and Carter together for the holidays. *cough shameless Careese cough* Inspired by 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' song
1. A Mystery in a Bouquet

_**AN: Hi, so with the holiday quickly approaching I couldn't help but do 12 Days of Christmas but in a Careese style. These oneshots will be connected in some fashion or another and some might be longer than others.  
**_

 _ **This story is post 3x9 so it's AU with Carter being alive but it's not much after 3x9 and doesn't follow what the show did not like it matters since the show went over a cliff after they killed Carter.**_

 _ **I know I need to update Collide which will happen this week but I'll be mixing updates for that story and this one. Hope you don't mind an overload on Careese ;D**_

 _ **Elaine, I really appreciate you! Thank you for everything XOXOX.**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I still don't own anything.**_

* * *

 **On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…**

 **A Mystery in a Bouquet**

Joss climbed into her car, ready for work, grateful she had taken the time to warm it up so it was nice and toasty when she entered, and turned the radio on, wanting the useless noise. She winced as _The Twelve Days of Christmas_ song blared, which she immediately switched the radio off. It wasn't that she was a Scrooge but it was only December 1st and with Christmas music already playing it must mean that the Christmas season had arrived whether or not she was ready.

It was the most wonderful time of the year, or so they sung; Joss wasn't so sold on it. Nine out of ten times for her during the Christmas season she saw a surge in homicides and suicides. But this year Joss had a little more to celebrate. Just three weeks ago she took down HR, getting justice for Cal so she could finally let herself move on but it didn't come without a cost. Simmons had been in hiding, having gotten away, but appeared to gun John down. Thankfully, she had been wearing her bulletproof vest so that she could apprehend the bastard, but John hadn't been as lucky, not with being arrested for carrying a weapon without a permit hours before. She really should get him some new hardware; perhaps it would be the perfect Christmas gift.

But the reason she had to celebrate more was the fact that John made a full recovery and was back to working the numbers far too quickly for her liking. Shaw and Finch promised to keep a careful eye on him for her.

'Numbers,' she thought with a shake of the head. When Finch and John sat her down to explain the machine and what it was exactly they did, finally, she had been astonished. They got social security numbers of someone about to be involved in a violent crime whether as the victim or perpetrator and it was up to them to figure it out. Now she understood why they couldn't always determine if the person they were following was good or not.

She drove to the station as her thoughts drifted back onto John. The moment they shared at the morgue was left unspoken but the memory warmed her better than any hot chocolate on a cold night could. In that one moment John had allowed her to see past the man-in-the-suit façade and see the vulnerable man beneath it; the one that he hid so well that she was certain he wasn't even sure who he was anymore. But she knew even if he didn't and if ever needed a reminder then she'd be more than happy to give it.

Joss pulled into the parking lot of the precinct, grateful to get there to stop her incessant thoughts about a certain vigilante who got her emotions all tangled up in tight knots. They were first and foremost, friends, the 'whatever-this-is thing' that simmered on top of that was the murky part.

She entered the precinct pushing open the double doors to enter the bullpen, stopping only long enough to remove her wool coat, before making a beeline for the coffee-pot. Joss noted she beat Fusco in. She took a sip of coffee as she moved towards her desk stopping abruptly.

There in the middle of her desk was a bouquet of red roses, beautiful long stemmed ones that smelled heavenly and housed in an obviously not cheap crystal vase. Joss frowned as she looked around the place and saw no one. She moved close and set her coffee down and picked the roses up suspiciously. Last time someone left her flowers it was Elias with a promise of death concealed in the beautiful flowers. And now they were frenemies…times sure have changed.

But this time there was no card; all she was left was flowers given to her by some anonymous person which was already setting her curiosity a twirl.

She lifted her gaze from the lavish bouquet, the heady smell tickling her nose, and watched as Fusco had arrived and moved to his desk. "Roses?" he asked with a smirk. "Hooked another poor sap eh, Carter?"

"Ha, that's funny, except I have as much of a social life as you do," she quipped back. Fusco chuckled as he held his hands out in surrender. "But I have no clue who left these roses for me because they were here before me and the anonymous person that left them conveniently forgot a card."

Fusco took his seat at his desk looking at her from it. "Maybe they're from your kid, Taylor, to butter you up for something he really wants off his Christmas list," Fusco muttered. Joss brightened. Yea, maybe it was Taylor. "And if it wasn't Taylor then ask Mr. Tall, Dark, and Stormy, he should know since he has your desk on lock down."

She cocked a brow up. "Oh, John has my desk on lockdown?" she commented.

"Yea, I mean, come on, Carter, it's you. If you get a paper cut he wants to know about it so he can find what paper did it to you and shred it apart," Fusco muttered with a laugh.

She rolled her eyes at the exaggeration. And while she should be irritated that John had her desk on surveillance she wasn't. There wasn't any way she could ever turn off John's overprotectiveness. It was who John was and perhaps it might have come in handy for once.

Joss drew out her phone and called the said man, who answered her on the second ring. "Hello detective…."

His voice always managed to make little flutters cascade in her stomach and today was no exception. "Hey, John, keeping out of trouble?" she asked with a smile flirting on her lips.

"When have I ever gotten into trouble, Carter?"

She snorted. "You don't want me to answer that do you?" she requested dryly.

"Name one time…"

"Shot and lit on fire," she answered instantly.

"Not shot, just grazed. And I would have made it to civilization sooner or later," John muttered in defense, hating to be called out. "But then I would never have gotten to see your mobile gun collection."

Joss felt warmth fill her at how soft his voice got like it was caressing her. She mentally shook herself as he nearly made her forget why she called him in the first place. "John, I need your help," she said as she eyeballed the roses, gently rubbing the soft velvety petals between her fingers.

"What's going on?" he asked as the teasing lilt to his voice disappeared.

Joss sighed as she explained, "It's nothing bad John, so chill. Just someone left me roses and apparently you have my desk on lock down or so Fusco claims."

"Lionel said that?"

"Yea, we'll discuss surveilling my desk later," she assured darkly. "But could you figure out who left me the flowers?"

"I know already," he admitted.

Joss sat up straight. "Who?" she wondered, so help her he better not say Shaw. But then, if it was Shaw wouldn't it be a bouquet of steaks instead?—that woman put her teenage son to shame with the amount of food she ate.

"Me."

Joss blinked in surprise. She looked down at the roses with new appreciation. "You?" if she hadn't been so shocked she would be appalled at how her voice sounded right there.

"Yes, me, is that so hard to believe?"

She noted the slight edge to his voice and she hastened to explain herself. "Not hard to believe, but usually your idea of gifting is a perp neatly wrapped up in a bow, or zip-tie, with a blown kneecap or two, so I'm taken aback," she murmured.

John was quiet for a moment before finally saying, "I never got to say thank you, Carter."

Joss frowned as she felt there was something left unspoken in that 'admission'. "For what?" she asked.

"For saving me…"

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AN: And so it begins. I won't lie I had fun coming up with these titles ;D

Thanks for reading!


	2. Two Habits Broken

**On the second day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…**

 **Two Habits Broken**

John was a creature of habit; some he formed to protect himself and others to protect those from him. And habitually he viewed getting close to anyone a bad idea because it would lead to loss and he wanted to avoid loss at whatever cost. But he never suspected to meet a woman quite like Joss Carter or expected to find meaning to life after Jessica.

So the fact that he was showing up to her place, at night, because the idea of going home left a bitter taste in his mouth, again, was breaking one habit but also forming a new habit. And not born out of protecting either himself or her but because he couldn't stop himself from being drawn to her to spend time with her, almost like a moth drawn to a flame.

He hesitated at her back door, shrouded in the darkness other than the Christmas lights on her neighbors' back patios. When he had been just a kid his parents always took him out to go look at the Christmas lights. He used to love seeing all the different colors twinkle and make wishes because a snowflake landed on his tongue but then that had been youthful innocence. Now he couldn't believe how foolish he had been. Wishes and dreams didn't come true; not for men like him. He sold his soul for his country who tossed him aside and now he was just biding his time until a bullet caught him.

Or so he thought. Until Joss; until she made him think of a life other than just being the man-in-the-suit. From time to time he still drew up that memory of their conversation during a stakeout, just after they rescued Finch from Root. She had challenged his way of thinking. She quietly nudged him to talk about Jessica and when he turned her down she called him out on it, saying her piece, before letting it drop. And for the first time in a very long time he was actually thinking of the future; to purchase and give Carter a Christmas gift on Christmas Day. It scared him to be thinking of the future, even if it was only a couple weeks in advance, rather than today because for so long he had been hoping for yesterday to be his last.

The back door opened, jarring him from his thoughts, and Joss stood there in jeans and a shirt, her hair tied up, and a smirk on her face. "I was going to just wait until you let yourself in and jump away from the wall to scare you just to see what you'd do but you've been standing out here so long that I thought you froze to death," she murmured, trying to keep her tone light, but did wonder what he was doing. She watched him through the back window as if he was lost in deep thought. She waited until her patience wore out and she opened the door.

He entered but didn't offer a comment. Joss watched as he hung up not only his wool jacket but also his suit jacket too suggesting he would be here for a while. John was over her place more than her own son was. And she was beginning to suspect there was a reason as to why he didn't want to go home after working a number. Was he tired of his loneliness?

"Would you like a beer?" she offered as she swiveled on her heels to go to her fridge. She had been just going to get one herself and watch a little TV to unwind.

"Yes…"

She nodded as she pulled one out for her and then another for him. John saw on the kitchen island was the vase with the roses he got her nearly a week ago. They were holding up but noticeably looked like they were on their last leg. It made him wonder if she was taking care of them trying to keep them alive.

They both snapped their caps off the beer bottles as they walked together into her living room. "I was just going to turn the game on when I heard this sound at my back door."

"I don't make sounds," he countered, almost sounding offended.

Joss frowned. He was right, he didn't, but then she would have to admit that she checked the back window in hopes she'd catch him coming over.

"My ears would call you a liar," Joss lied.

John threw her a look. "I don't make sounds," he repeated.

Joss dropped it because lying wasn't one of her stronger suits as she was barely better than John. They dropped onto the couch together, quietly sipping their beers, and Joss turned the channel onto the basketball game.

Things were quiet while they both were engrossed in the game until a commercial came. She side-eyed him as he took a sip of his beer. Joss liked how relaxed he looked; the ever present line of tension on his handsome face was gone.

"Taylor has a new girlfriend," she said breaking the silence.

John looked to her and smiled. "Do you approve?"

"Of this girl?—I wouldn't know since I haven't been given the chance to meet her yet," she grumbled.

"You scare the girls don't you?" he murmured.

"I do not!"

John chuckled. "You scare Root and Shaw; they even try to behave themselves when you're around," he pointed out.

Joss narrowed her eyes on him. "I only scare Root and Shaw because they need to be reminded who they're dealing with," she retorted playfully. "But I'm happy for my son because this girl makes him happy."

John was silent for a moment before asking; "What about you?—are you ready to move on after Cal?"

How John leap frogged to her love life from her son's was mystifying. "Cal and I weren't this great love affair, John. I cared about him but I wasn't in love with him. I guess I became obsessed with taking down HR to bring him justice because I felt guilty."

"For what?—you did nothing wrong, Carter."

Joss smiled slightly at how quickly John jumped to her defense. "I have trust issues," she murmured.

"You don't say…" he said smirking.

She chuckled as she looked at John. "Well I might have trust issues but who here has issues with self-worth and wanting to save everyone except himself?"

"Touché, Carter," John remarked before taking a sip of his beer. He was far more interested in hearing how she viewed Cal's death as her fault.

Joss shrugged. "I let my trust issues come between us and he died thinking I didn't believe in him. I think I worked so hard to get him justice to make up for that fact," she admitted sadly. John nodded his head. "But to answer your question,yes, I'm ready to move on from Cal."

He looked away and feigned interest in the basketball game once more. John wasn't sure why the fact that she answered his question honestly troublesome. Maybe it was because he had been using the fact that she couldn't possibly be ready to move past Cal Beecher and his death as a reason why there couldn't be anything more than friendship between them.

Joss looked at John, wanting to ask him if he was finally ready to move past Jessica. The kiss he planted on her in the morgue suggested he was but she wasn't sure. One moment he was letting her close but the next she was at arms' length. To her it suggested the turbulence of John's feelings…he wanted to get close but was scared too.

"John," she called out softly. He shifted his gaze off the TV and onto her. It was on the tip of her tongue to just ask him but instead she said; "I don't trust many people but I do trust you; I trust you with my life."

John swallowed hard. Knowing she trusted him meant a lot. Joss didn't hand out trust freely and he hoped to never make her regret the decision to trust in him.

"I should go; you had a long day at work." John said.

Joss smiled as John abruptly wanted to leave the moment things got a little too close for comfort. She nodded as she allowed the moment to slip past as she climbed to her feet to follow him to the kitchen. He tugged on his jackets and she quietly watched him. "Goodnight, John," she murmured, wishing to break down the barrier John erected at some point in his life, as he grabbed the door knob.

He paused and turned to look back at her. "I'll try to never make you regret the decision to trust me."

"John, just be you and I won't," she reassured him. John had earned her trust and she knew he would always have her back.

He nodded. "And for what it's worth, Carter; you make me want to live for you," he whispered and with that he turned and left, leaving her staring at the closed door long after he'd gone.

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AN: Carter with her trust issues and John with his issues of self-worth...they make quite the pair don't they?-such a beautiful, layered pair that belong together. *sigh* Since I don't think anyone here that reads my Carter/Reese stuff watches Psych I can say this without a spoiler but I'm on a couple high since I saw my Psych movie last night and my original OTP, before Careese ripped that title away from them, got married. Makes me wish, again, Carter and Reese were given a chance instead of the fates they were given.

Thanks for reading!


	3. Three Long Nights

**On the third day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…**

 **Three Long Nights**

Working on numbers offered pros and cons; and one of the cons was pulling all-nighters for a stakeout. That and the risk of getting shot but John never worried about that. But he never suspected that he could also include getting stuck in a sauna as a con.

"You know, the next time you ask for help with a number I'm just going to tell you no," Joss grumbled as she removed her blazer, plopping it onto her winter coat, as she pulled her blouse away from her neck. It was hot as hell in here and they had to wait for cavalry to show up. That was something she wasn't looking forward too. She begrudgingly undid the buttons at her cuffs and proceeded to roll up her sleeves to help herself cool off at least a little bit.

John had tried—and failed—to bust them out of here. He had removed his coat but now it was about time for him to remove his suit blazer as the heat and humidity was getting to him. "Shaw should be here soon," he murmured rubbing his palm over his forehead and upper lip to wipe away the sweat beading there.

"And then we get to hear all her jokes. Goodie, can't wait for that," she grumbled.

They had chased down their number, Kevin Kauffman, who apparently pissed off the cartel by taking some of their drug money, and didn't want to give it back. It was a race between them and the cartel to find Kauffman who led them to a gym that was closed to the public thankfully; possibly where he stashed the hidden money. A fire fight ensued, as they finally convinced Kauffman his chances of survival went up with them, but before they could make a getaway a third unknown man put a gun to her back which stopped John in his tracks. They were then disarmed, forced in this sauna that they turned on, where they locked them inside, and took Kauffman with them.

John removed his suit blazer and quickly undid the buttons of his dress shirt trying to rid some of these clothes to cool off. "Well if there is anyone that can get Shaw to toe the line it is you, Carter," he remarked. "Finch overheard what was happening before they took our phones from us. I'm sure they'll be here soon."

Joss didn't respond as she was preoccupied with the fact that it seemed John was going to give her, her very only peep show. She arched a brow as he removed his dress shirt and stood only in the white undershirt that was wet from his sweat but clinging to his muscular chest. She could see the outline of his pectorals and his nipples were hard. He had a flat stomach and the shirt was tucked in his dress slacks, but her observant eyes noted sweat droplets rolling from his hair down the column of his neck. John made being hot and sweaty look insanely sexy; god knows she probably looked horrendous. With the humidity it would wreck-havoc with her straightened hair. No doubt she probably had pit stains which were embarrassing but one bright side she thankfully applied minimal makeup and the makeup she did apply was waterproof.

Her eyes tracked another droplet roll down his delicious looking neck making her tongue flick the backs of her teeth as the desire to swipe her tongue across his neck to lick it up grew. The very unfriendly, downright lusty thought jolted her upright as she waved a hand in her face. The heat must be getting to her, because she suddenly felt hotter than before.

"If Kauffman came to this gym that he works at it's probably where he stashed the money. The cartel isn't going to kill him until they get their money back," he said as he sat down beside her on the wooden bench. "All we can do is sit and wait."

And it was decidedly not in his best interests to be stuck in this sauna for far too long. Carter was looking sexier the hotter she got and that left his pants feeling far too snug than previously. If he didn't cool his thoughts then he would surely embarrass himself, because their friendship was too important to screw up by making it something more.

"Are you ready for Christmas?" he asked, trying to think of anything that didn't involve sweat, skin, and this woman.

She scoffed. "No. I haven't gotten one damn thing done yet," she admitted. "But then I haven't had much time between the precinct and you."

"You have a few weeks left…."

"Yea. Thankfully having a teenage son who only wants giftcards helps out," she agreed. "Though it's not nearly as fun at present time," she murmured wistfully. Time sure had flown by. Taylor was nearly a grown adult. "When Taylor was little I would take him out on Christmas Eve so he could try to see Santa in his sleigh so that when he went back inside bummed he didn't see him…he'd find his presents had already arrived."

John smiled. "How did you get away with explaining how Santa came without his knowledge?"

"Oh that was easy; Paul told him it was the magic of Santa," she replied with a smirk.

John forgot they were in a sauna slowly sweating to death as their bodies grew dehydrated. "Was that a tradition handed down?" he asked quietly.

"Yea, my mom and dad used to do that to me. It only worked so long because I used to try to investigate it even going so far as using a flashlight up the chimney trying to find clues," she confided with a smile.

John laughed and Joss felt a little bubble of warmth expand in her chest as the sound was so wonderful. "Always the detective," he purred.

"I was curious." she said defensively. "What about you?—did you have any traditions?" she asked. Joss hoped he wouldn't clam up and switch subjects.

"It depended where we were. But if we were at one of the bases then my dad would pay an Army friend to dress up as Santa and bring me gifts. When we moved to Colorado, the Christmas before my dad died, I had already stopped believing in Santa so my dad and mom decided that I had to work for my presents. They hid them all over the place but it was fun searching for them. The very last gift was these camo waders that looked just like my dad's with a tackle box all of my own." he murmured with a tiny smile on his face.

"That sounds wonderful, John," she whispered. It didn't really surprise her to learn that John enjoyed fishing. It was outdoors and quiet where he could brood if he wanted.

He didn't look at her as he seemed to have zoned out. "We never did end up getting to go fishing together," he said regretfully, looking off into the distance.

"I'm sorry…."

John blinked and his face went instantly neutral and he stood as he cleared his throat. "Nothing to be sorry about; deaths happen, nothing anyone can do to prevent it."

Interesting he would say the word 'prevent' when he said that. "Is that why you work so hard with these numbers…to prevent it because you were just a child that couldn't prevent your father's death?" she asked as she stood too. Joss didn't really want to push but she wanted to understand what drove John to the point of risking his own life time and time again to save someone else.

He eyed Joss sharply, not comfortable with how exposed he felt. "I wonder when Shaw will get here," he commented, changing the subject.

"John, don't do me like that. Answer me,"she demanded brusquely. It wasn't fair of him to want her to share with him and for him to not reciprocate.

He exhaled roughly. "Joss, my dad died doing what he did best; saving lives, just at a refinery, not on a battlefield, but he stilled died a hero. What I'm doing is nothing heroic," he answered sounding strained. "Now find a different subject," he stated lowly.

Joss held her hands out realizing his father was a wound that hadn't healed. And she had a feeling she understood John a little better now because he viewed his dad as a bonafide hero that John somehow failed.

But she didn't have to find a new subject because they heard the door to the sauna being opened. Joss watched as the mask was back in place and no one would ever be the wiser to know that John had opened up to her about his father. And she got another glimpse at the man under the man-in-the-suit who had terrible coping mechanisms and was still trying to grieve over his father's loss to this day. No wonder he used Jessica's death as a shield to keep everyone at arms' length because he never learned how to process loss and shut down instead of trying to move on. It saddened her. But maybe she could help him learn to move on.

They came face to face with Shaw and Finch. "Oh thank god that you both are alright," Finch said with a heavy sigh of relief.

Shaw grinned as Reese and Carter nearly leapt out of the sauna carrying some of their clothes with them. "You two look like you just got through having sex," she joked.

"I can guarantee that sauna is not as much fun working up a sweat as sex would be,"Joss muttered with a little look at John. She had no doubt that sex with John would be pleasurable and something she'd want to do again and again.

"Maybe I should get you your own personal sauna for Christmas," he suggest softly as all signs of his earlier tension was gone as he had a small smile on his face.

"You do and I'll gift back a bullet hole to your knee." she threatened and it made John chuckle.

"Duly noted, Carter…."

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AN: Our beautiful little snails are inching their way towards each other. ;D Sidenote: I'd pay good money to see Jim all hot and sweaty in a sauna.

Thanks for reading!


	4. Four Nosy Friends

_**AN: You guys are going to get a 2 for 1 special with this since I have realized I'm falling way far behind on posting. Poor Collide is waiting for an update too! I love Christmas but it's so busy around this time of the year. But I'll make sure Collide gets an update tomorrow. Thanks for being patient with me!**_

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 **On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…**

 **Four Nosy Friends**

Joss smiled at John as they sat in their booth at Lyric Diner. He called to ask her here for breakfast which she happily accepted. She could use a real breakfast rather than her measly little apple and coffee. Since they were trapped in the sauna and John opened up she had figured John would retreat from her but thankfully he didn't.

"Thanks for breakfast," she said as the waitress arrived with their plateful of food.

"With everything you do to help it's the least I could do," he murmured as he dug his fork into the eggs before looking at Carter. "But I also want to warn you…Shaw's snooping."

She blinked in surprise. "Snooping for what?" she demanded as she poured some syrup on her pancakes.

John shifted uncomfortably. "Shaw asked if I was getting you a gift and I told her yes," he admitted as he looked away.

Joss stared at him. She reached out to touch his hand and earned his gaze. "You don't have to get me anything, John," she said softly, though moved that John was attempting to assimilate to the world once again, for her. It touched her deeply to know that she meant something to him that he wanted to show her it with a gift, especially since she knew that John never looked beyond today. He couldn't with the line of work he was employed in and not with what he confessed to her at the morgue. To be that close to ending it all because he lost meaning to life…looking too far ahead wasn't something she figured John was comfortable doing.

"I know. But I want to."

She smiled a little, tucking this away in a special place in her heart. "Now I won't feel so guilty when I give you your gift," she replied with a cheeky grin, keeping how affected she was to herself.

"I don't want anything," he countered.

Joss rolled her eyes. Again she knew that. John didn't want or need anything. "I know. But I want to, just like you," she repeated his response to him. She popped her pancake in her mouth smug at one-upping him.

He chuckled at how proud she looked. This woman made life interesting as she was slowly repairing what was fractured inside him. It scared him that he had allowed her to burrow in, without her even realizing it, and had no way of purging her from him. Her warmth, her light, was lighting and warming every deep dark corner of his soul.

John never told anyone about his father until Joss. He tried so hard to not form any attachment; it was why he kept a level of distance between him and everyone else. It was why he had meaningless sex with Zoe who understood the terms. But he broke his own habits for this woman, by getting close to her, he thought of the future for this woman, wanting to get her a Christmas present that was weeks from now, and he formed an attachment to this woman that if anything ever happened to her he wouldn't survive. Joss was his world and what that meant terrified him.

They ate and talked about mundane subjects tiptoeing past the fact that they were ever so slowly getting closer and closer. "You know John; I've never been to your place,"she murmured.

He watched her through hooded eyes. "Are you fishing for an invitation?" he inquired.

She shrugged. "I'm just pointing it out. But maybe, to exchange our gifts, instead of you breaking into my place how about I get a chance to see yours,"she suggested.

"It won't be decorated for the holiday," he argued.

"So put up a tree." she challenged. He snorted in response. "Oh come on; surely you could even find a Charlie Brown tree and put it up!"

He burst out laughing and she grinned as she earned herself another laugh. John seemed to be smiling and laughing more if you asked her and she was very pleased to know she was the reason for it.

"I see you two are finally giving up on pretending to be _just friends_." Shaw remarked, effectively breaking the moment, and they both looked up at the nosy little friend that was standing at their table looking superior and definitely uninvited.

John flicked a look at Carter, who frowned in confusion, before glaring at Shaw. "And I suppose you have followed me?" he replied darkly.

Shaw shrugged. "You were at a diner so I couldn't resist." she admitted as she slid into the booth seat with Carter. "So are you two dating? Or is it just a sex thing like Reese and Zoe?"

"Shaw…" John warned threateningly.

Joss felt herself stiffen at the mention of the beautiful exotic Zoe Morgan. She knew that John and Zoe had a thing going on but she didn't need to be reminded of it. "We're just friends," Joss answered with more bite than necessary. Suddenly her appetite was gone and she was left feeling jealous of a woman that had something she wanted and couldn't have.

"Ah, Reese hasn't made a move. Figures…"

"Shaw, would you shut up," he growled.

"Reese, it's almost Christmas, you know the saying 'tis the season of giving' so give it to Carter!" Shaw stated as she grabbed one of Reese's pieces of toast and slathered butter all over it and took a big bite out of it. "Where's the waitress?" she asked as bread crumbs popped out of her mouth.

Joss made a face. "You are worse than a child. Is there a reason you're here aside from the fact of butting in on our breakfast?"

"Why should it matter if you two are just friends?" Shaw wondered wickedly. Joss glared at her and suddenly the smug look faded and she squirmed in her seat. "Fuck, I hate that look. Stop it, Carter!" she grumbled. Joss didn't respond and Shaw crumbled miserably. "I came here to find out what to get you for Christmas."

"How about an early present Shaw?—you, leaving," Joss supplied.

John brightened. "Yea, sounds like the perfect gift of silence," he concurred.

Shaw harrumphed. "I see I'm not wanted. Fine, go back to pretending to be just friends. I'll find you the perfect gift, Carter!—one that will be the best ever! It will sure the hell be better than Reese's," Shaw assured as she stood, finally taking the cue to leave. Shaw would never admit it but she enjoyed pestering these two. They reminded her of her parents with the gooey lovesick looks they gave each other.

Joss sighed as she shook her head. "Maybe, but you wouldn't ever be able to get John a better gift than Harold would." Joss remarked digging at Shaw's ego.

John glared at Carter who smiled innocently as Shaw immediately looked at Reese. "Oh, I could get Reese a better gift than Finch. Finch hates guns! I know the perfect thing and perhaps I'll even offer instructions if Reese throws in a steak dinner as payment," Shaw snickered.

"No really, Shaw, I don't…" John tried but Shaw had already turned and stomped away, clearly pissed to think that someone was better than her at anything. He eyed Joss. "Why did you do that?"

"If I'm stuck with Shaw sniffing after me for the perfect gift to get me then you should share in the fun."

"Maybe I'll get you a lump of coal now," he grumbled in response.

Joss laughed as she went back to eating.

He hemmed and hawed over whether or not to broach what Shaw brought up but wanting to clear the air instead of letting it drop won out. "About what Shaw said…"

"Don't mention it, John. Shaw doesn't understand friendships or relationships. I don't think she ever has either," Joss said, waving him off. She didn't want to talk about Zoe and she certainly didn't want to talk about how their friends seemed to have realized that there was something going on between her and John. If and when he was ever ready to meet it head on then and only then would it matter; otherwise it was just speculation to Shaw and the others.

He nodded. But he couldn't let her think that he was still having sex with Zoe. "I'm not sleeping with Zoe," he blurted out and grimaced as the waitress had reappeared to refill their coffees. He tried to make a polite smile but it barely registered as heat crept up his neck.

Joss stared at John who appeared to be blushing. That couldn't be. No way did a man that looked like John blush! But he was and Joss wanted to kiss him so badly that she could taste it. Men like John just didn't exist nowadays.

She refocused on what he said instead. "You're not?"

"I was," he admitted uncomfortably. Why did he have to bring this up? Maybe because he didn't want Joss to think he was sleeping with another woman. But why it mattered was entirely up for debate. "But now I'm not."

"I see," she murmured, she just hoped she did 'see' because she wasn't entirely sure what that meant for her.

Quickly John switched the subjects and Joss thankfully let it drop without further conversation, neither realizing that the other was longing for the exact same thing.

* * *

AN: Of course Shaw had to appear. I mean she's the biggest nosy little gnat of a friend they have. And onto the next for your two for one special...


	5. Five Golden Knuckles

**On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…**

 **Five Golden Knuckles**

John was worried about Carter. She had called asking him, about an hour ago, to meet her right here, at the gym Finch purchased for he and Shaw to work out in, so they could be themselves without needing a cover. But what concerned him wasn't Carter asking him to come here to meet with her but the unusual tone to her voice. Joss sounded angry, yes, but there was something else underneath the anger that had left him feeling puzzled. He was used to her being angry, usually at him for doing one illegal thing or another, but he hadn't done anything, at least nothing he was aware of, and this was different…he couldn't put his finger on it but she sounded off. So instead of heading for dinner with Finch, Shaw, and Root he had gone to get a quick bite to eat at a fast food joint and came here as he ate.

He was currently ramming his fists repeatedly into the punching bag while he waited for her to arrive in anxiousness. After Carter had guessed about the machine and he convinced Finch to explain the truth to her they had extended the invitation to come to their own private gym to her as a perk. Carter used it from time to time whenever her schedule permitted it. She almost always used the weight room or treadmill so her asking to meet in the training room might offer a clue as to what was wrong but he wasn't sure what the clue meant.

John felt a presence and he knew it was her without even needing to look. Her familiar Jasmin scent clung to her; he would never admit to taking a moment every time they were together to just inhale her feminine beautiful scent.

He stopped pummeling the punching bag to turn to eye her and frowned. Something was definitely wrong. There was some emotion swimming in her eyes. He noted she had taped her hands as she approached him on the wall to wall blue mat. John didn't comment as he merely watched her. She was wearing tight black yoga pants and a hot pink Nike sports bra. Her scar was displayed but so was her delectable belly button that always managed to ensnare his attention whenever they worked out together.

"I want to spar like you and Shaw do," she stated without emotion as she stretched to loosen up.

John didn't respond at first. Carter had watched him and Shaw from time to time as they sparred after she finished a rigorous run on the treadmill. "Alright Carter," he agreed slowly. He would just have to make sure he pulled his punches unlike what he did with Shaw. Hurting this woman even accidentally would pain him in unexplainable ways.

They moved away from the slightly swinging punching bag to the middle of the mat. He stood watching her quietly.

"What are you waiting for?" she snapped.

John cocked a brow at the hostility in her voice. "I'm waiting for you to be ready," he explained.

"I am," she assured brusquely. He didn't call her the liar that she was so he simply stood still and waited which seemed to be the right call as she looked downright pissed off and lunged at him first. She went for a jab that he blocked easily and got into his stance.

Carter went straight for a full force kick that he blocked and shoved her backwards. His reflexes were quick but she wasn't much of a challenge as she wasn't using technique. Carter had basic training in the Army and he knew she knew self-defense but right about now if you didn't know that about her you'd think she had no training whatsoever. He could easily pin her to the ground right now but he didn't. Carter wanted to use this as a way to exorcise something bothering her and who was he to judge. But he wasn't going to make it easy for her either. So he went on the attack.

Joss felt everything else melt away as she tried blocking, deflecting, and defending as best as she could everything John gave her but he was overwhelming; she knew he was pulling his punches to not hurt her and half of her was grateful while the other half wasn't. But she didn't have time to be pissed because he was connecting jab after jab before he grabbed her arm and lifted her up and over his back. She landed on the mat with a loud thud and she grunted in irritation.

John stood beside her and peered down at her as she was breathing heavy as she glared up at him. "Now get up and fight me like you can or tuck your tail between your legs and leave Carter," he ordered. If she wanted to be angry then he'd give her something to be angry about.

Fury burned in her as she swept her leg out, slamming it hard into his ankles to trip him and succeeded. She scrambled up before he did. "Is you-falling-on-your-ass-fighting more like I can or do I need to kick your ass to impress you?" she snarled.

He got up, looking like he was half smiling at her, and she threw a punch full force and he blocked it. "It's better. But you're still fighting like you never fought before," he commented.

She tried a right hook, then a jab which were deflected easily.

"Is that all you have, Carter!" he taunted.

Joss changed her attack methods varying them trying to surprise him; she went from short jabs to hooks, to various kicks mixed in, back to a haymaker. She felt rewarded when one of the several she threw would actually connect, earning her a small grunt from him, but otherwise he defended them all.

Sweat dripped down from her forehead, her muscles felt on fire, and she drew in breath through her nostrils. Joss swung out her left fist in a poorly timed manner as she was fatigued; which he easily caught, jabbed her stomach hard, before flipping her right back onto the mat. She exhaled roughly as she beat her fists on the mat in anger.

Joss remained on the mat breathing fast as John hovered over her barely breathing hard. He didn't say a word as he slowly lowered himself to the mat and sat beside her. "Want to tell me what's wrong?"

She sat up, still breathing raggedly. "What makes you think there is something wrong?" she asked, deflecting. She much preferred getting her ass kicked right about now then think about earlier.

"Your lack of technique says so," he murmured.

Joss looked at her hands as she breathed slower. "I worked a murder suicide. He killed his wife and four of his kids, only one survived because they played dead," she whispered.

"I'm sorry…."

She kept her gaze down as the tears welled up in her eyes. "The youngest was eight months old and the oldest was ten. The lone survivor was six, with two wounds that were grazes; one on her head and the other on her leg. She was still pretending to be dead even when paramedics arrived. Apparently from what we could gather Mr. and Mrs. Miller had a fight about him wasting their Christmas money they were saving on booze which made him snap," she said softly before looking at him as a tear slid down her cheek. "He shot his kids multiple times; over and over again just to hurt Eileen Miller before he shot her dead and then himself all over money."

"I'm so sorry Carter," he whispered, hesitantly sliding an arm on her shoulders unsure of its welcome. And when she didn't move he kept it resting there in silent comfort.

She swiped away at the tears. "You'd think I'd toughen up. I've seen these things before. I hate them because I can't bring anyone to justice since he killed himself."

"Joss, you are the strongest woman I know; showing emotion for the fallen children isn't showing weakness. You're a mother and then a detective."

When she looked at him with watery brown eyes he wished he could help her forget the sight she saw but couldn't. The fact that the machine didn't give them their numbers meant it was a crime committed in the heat of the moment so it wasn't planned.

"Thank you for letting me try to take my anger out on you," she managed through the lump in her throat. Even though she got her ass kicked the fact that he took her mind off of what she saw today was exactly what she needed.

He smiled. "Anytime, Carter..."

They sat staring at each other for far too long before her gaze dropped to his mouth and John cleared his throat and removed his arm. He stood up and held a hand out to help her up, which she took rather slowly. They didn't speak as they walked side by side out of the training room to head to their respective locker room. John used getting dressed as a respite from the swirling tension between him and Carter. Something changed between them in there; it felt like when they were locked in the morgue together when he had kissed her.

He exited the locker room dressed and ready to leave. He only had to wait another five minutes before Carter appeared changed and ready to go. As they exited the gym that looked deceptively decrepit from the outside; snow had begun to fall. On the corner of the street was a quartet of carolers belting out a Christmas tune to passersby.

John walked Carter to her car that was parked near his.

She stopped in front of her car door to look up at him. "I'll be seeing you, John," she said softly before resting her hands on his shoulders, lifting up on her tiptoes and pressed a long kiss to his cheek. He closed his eyes at the feel of her soft lips against his cheek. When she pulled back he snapped his eyes open. "You being here for me means a lot." she whispered as she stared into his eyes.

"I'll always be here for you, Carter," he assured her before breaking the eye contact as he moved to let her climb into her car. After a moment she did and he closed her door for her and escaped to his own car and when he sat down inside it, he leaned his head back and exhaled.

John waited until Joss drove off to do so himself, all the while thinking about the certain gorgeous detective.

* * *

AN: I give every first responder all the credit in the world because I would never be able to do any of their jobs. I can barely muster up enough courage to watch a news story about an animal getting hurt let allow see things like they do daily.

Thanks for reading!


	6. Six Secrets-a-Telling

**On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…**

 **Six secrets-a-telling**

John yawned as he climbed out of his car parked near the side entrance to the library. He was tired from a sleepless night, he'd spent it hugging the toilet. John secured his black long wool coat tighter around him as he pushed his gloved hands into his pockets as another round of chills hit him.

He heard another car door and was alerted to the fact that Shaw had arrived as well. John turned and there walked Shaw to catch up to him. "You look like shit, Reese," she greeted unceremoniously as she carried her coffee and Finch's tea. John was just grateful it was her turn to buy Harold's tea this morning.

"It's nice to see you too, Shaw," he deadpanned and his stomach churned as he smelled her coffee.

"No seriously, Reese, you look like shit. You sick or something?" she demanded as she scrutinized him. Reese was ridiculously pale, so much so that even his lips matched the pallor of his skin. He almost looked like one of the Walking Dead characters she saw on one of her favorite TV shows the night before

"I don't get sick," he refuted. He wanted to say more, but the bile was rising up in his mouth again. Not a good sign!

Shaw didn't comment as they walked side by side into the library but smirked as Reese took a detour to the bathroom after stopping mid-stride. Shaw headed up to where they had their HQ set up and saw Finch waiting for her at the computers. "We have a new number," he said in a way of greeting.

"Reese is sick," she announced without preamble as she set his tea in front of him and sipped her coffee. She eyed the photograph taped to the glass board. The man had to be in his mid-fifties and had a hideous comb over. "He looks like my old English teacher from high-school, told me I was the absolute worst poet. I hated the guy."

"Mr. Reese is sick?" Harold asked trying to get back to her earlier comment.

"Hurried to the bathroom to puke his guts out; looks like someone forgot to get their flu shot," she muttered snatching one of the donuts that Finch got out of the box.

Harold frowned but caught sight of John walking towards them. "Well you may not be the next Ginsberg but you are a fine pseudo nurse, Ms. Shaw," Harold said, taking note the fact that it appeared like John was shivering in his coat and was extremely pale. "Mr. Reese, you should go home and rest. Ms. Shaw and I will handle our newest number alone."

"I'm fine," John stated stubbornly.

Shaw snorted. "Oh right, forgot: he doesn't get sick, Finch," Shaw retorted. She eyed him darkly. "So, Reese, if you're not sick then you should have a donut. They're delicious," she suggested and smirked as he turned a nasty shade of green. Shaw snickered as he gulped and to push it further to get Reese to admit that she was right she took a big bite of her donut and moaned.

"Ms. Shaw, I prefer what remains in Mr. Reese's stomach to not find its way on my computers," Finch chided dryly before focusing on John once more. "I'm sorry, John, but I think it's best for everyone involved, including our new number, if you head home and get some much needed rest."

"Who is the new number?" John asked determined to work this case. He had nothing left to vomit so he should start feeling better soon enough.

Harold sighed as Mr. Reese was going to be stubborn about this. "His name is Nelson Rand. As far as I can tell he's in between jobs. He last worked at a small law firm as a janitor. All his previous jobs were held about as long as he held that one: six months."

"So what is he doing now?" Shaw asked after she finished off her donut, her mouth still full. She began licking the glaze off her fingers.

"Presently, he has been employed by the regional mall to be their Santa," Harold explained, knowing this was the part that both his employees were going to find issue with.

John stared at Finch. "I'm sorry; did you say he's a mall Santa?" he murmured, making sure he heard him right.

"Yes. Not every number is going to be mobsters or government assassins, Mr. Reese."

John nodded as he looked at Shaw. "You guys are right; I'm not feeling well. I should go home," he muttered doing the quickest about face. He wasn't going to muscle through the fact that he wanted to drop from fatigue and his stomach was dying a slow agonizing death to work a mall Santa case. He was sure Finch and Shaw could handle it without him.

Finch brightened at John's sudden backpedaling but Shaw's look grew downright lethal.

"Oh no, you don't, Reese!—you're not sticking the lame Santa Claus with me!" Shaw growled, grabbing his forearm.

John rubbed his tender stomach. "Shaw, I think you're right I have the flu; can't go spreading that to children," he rationalized.

"Children?" Shaw hissed.

Finch sighed. "Ms. Shaw, you do realize who goes to see the mall Santa don't you?" Harold asked carefully.

John waited to leave for Shaw to realize the meaning of what Finch said and when she did she cursed loudly which was John's cue to leave; served Shaw right for eating a donut to try to make him puke.

* * *

Joss headed straight for the address Shaw gave her that was John's apartment. The series of texts she received from Shaw were very detailed. Apparently John was sick and Shaw was adamant that she required his help on their new number that she was secretive over. But Shaw had her with John was sick. John never got sick so the fact that he was and presumably not taking care of himself, as always, got her to head out to go take care of him herself.

She knocked and waited; she had the black bag of goodies from Shaw; an IV bag and medicines just in case he hadn't been able to stop puking. Joss had stopped at Lyric Diner that she and John frequented together and bought chicken noodle soup. When there was no answer she knocked again. It wasn't ideal to pick his lock but she would; he could be asleep and didn't hear her at his door. And to be fair the man broke into her place so many times for flimsy reasons she had lost count.

When the door still didn't open and no noticeable sounds of footsteps she set the bags down and tugged out her lock pick. "Momma always told me to come prepared," she muttered to herself as she proceeded to undo his lock. She grinned in success when she heard the tumbler go. Joss opened the door and pushed it open, grabbing the bags, and entered.

She searched his studio apartment for him but didn't see his handsome self anywhere. Joss quietly closed the door behind her and locked up the door. She set the bags on the dining room table before removing her coat.

"John," she called out. She frowned when she didn't receive an answer. She never had been to his place before so she had to go in search for the bathroom. If he was dealing with the flu she had a hunch he was in there. Joss had been wanting to come here but under far different circumstances.

"Oh John," she whispered as she found his large bathroom and him; John was sitting on the tiled floor with his head on the toilet seat. He was shirtless and barefoot but in his dress pants and she felt fiercely protective of this man. Her feelings for him were growing exponentially as he wasn't just a friend anymore but seeing him sick and vulnerable riled up a protective instinct in her. John definitely didn't look like the invincible man-in-the-suit right about now; he looked about as formidable as a sick puppy.

"What are you doing here, Carter?" he wondered without lifting his head.

"I'm here for you," she murmured as she moved close and checked in the toilet. She was glad to see it was clean water but she was concerned about him. John was pale as a ghost and hadn't opened his eyes yet. "Are you still throwing up?" she asked.

"No," he mumbled. "Just didn't feel like getting up."

Joss ran a hand over his hair trying to offer comfort. "Come on John; I'll help you up," she cajoled as she reached out and grabbed his bicep tugging gently to get him to get up. He opened his eyes and she saw how glassy they looked. John stood slowly and she kept a hand on his back as she let him lead her out of the bathroom. He was past pale and looked like he would topple over if she even breathed on him.

"Carter, what are you doing here?" he asked again quietly as she steered him towards his large king size bed.

"I'm here because Shaw called and told me you might have the flu. And I don't trust you to take care of yourself," she stated as she reached down to undo his belt.

He watched her hands with hooded eyes while keeping his arms at his sides. Joss looked up and arched a brow. "Now I know you must be sick; no stubborn assurance that you can do this yourself?" she murmured as she pushed his pants down off his slim hips.

"Maybe I like the fact that you're taking my pants off," he remarked dryly.

Joss smiled at the flirtatious comment. She looked down and stared as she caught sight of his dark blue boxer briefs and the substantial bulge drawing her attention. She mentally shook herself forcefully, lifting her gaze and got gut checked as she saw his bare chest. John had a very nice muscular chest but that wasn't what caught her gaze it was the scars. He had them everywhere, even with scars on top of older scars.

"Get in bed," she ordered with more force than necessary. She was angry with herself because she wanted to find the people who were responsible for them, to make them pay for making him suffer, but she could look in the mirror for at least one and it was a tough pill to swallow.

"Only if you join me," he rasped, drawing her from her self-deprecating thoughts.

She rolled her eyes. "Nice try flirting yourself out of this one, John; I'm still going to make you take better care of yourself," she muttered as she pushed him easily onto the bed before flipping his comforter over him. "Now tell me what have you been able to keep down?"

"Joss, I would appreciate if you would leave," he said instead of answering, a frustrated tone creeping into his voice.

She snorted. "No, I'm not going anywhere. I have the day off so you're stuck with me. Now what have you been able to keep down?" she asked again.

"I don't know since I haven't tried to eat or drink anything," he mumbled, giving up trying to send Joss away.

"That's not good, John! You'll get dehydrated!" she growled. "You men think you're unstoppable. You need a keeper!" she grumbled as she ignored the longing she felt over wishing she would get to be that keeper for him.

John watched as his beautiful detective sashayed off looking decidedly disgruntled. He smiled a little, still feeling like death, but having her here made any lousy day better. When she reappeared she was carrying a cup.

She grinned as she held it out. "Guess what you're in for: yummy ice chips."

He chuckled at how she was trying to entice him with it, which made him wince as it hurt his stomach muscles. "Don't make me laugh, Carter, my stomach hurts," he grumbled, taking the cup of ice chips she held out and taking some, though not very enthusiastically.

Joss didn't resist resting her forearm against his forehead to check for fever. She was glad to feel it was cool but his skin was a little clammy under the touch. Shaw had her bring medicine to help with nausea but she didn't really want to have to use it. John appeared to have a twenty-four hour bug and was getting better on his own.

John was watching her with exhausted eyes. "Go home, Carter, I'll be fine." he said. He preferred being sick and miserable alone.

"I said no. And if you tell me to go one more time; I'm gonna spoon feed food to you and even help you to the bathroom. I mean you might need my help to tug your underwear off and even need me to help…"

"You win Carter," he muttered giving in, knowing her well enough if he pushed she pushed back.

She grinned. "That's what I thought. We'll get some fluids in you and then try some of the chicken noddle soup. Now sleep, John."

"You're bossy…" he said sleepily.

She chuckled softly. "And you're stubborn." she responded as she took the cup from his hand. "Sleep, John," she coaxed and smiled when she didn't even need to say it; John was sound asleep.

* * *

John awoke with a start and looked around his surroundings. "Feeling better?" he blinked at the question as he realized he wasn't alone. He had thought he dreamt Carter coming here, evidently not. He searched for her and found her moving closer to his bed. "I was watching a little TV, but are you feeling better?" she asked again.

"A little," he answered, his throat felt raw and sore from getting sick so often. He struggled to sit up and groaned as his stomach was tremendously tender.

"When did you start vomiting?" she asked.

He ran a hand over his face which felt scratchy since he hadn't shaved. "It was about seven in the evening yesterday when I started. I had just gotten home after finishing up a number," he murmured.

Joss checked her watch; it was seven-thirty in the evening now. He had slept for nearly seven hours so if it was a twenty-four hour bug then he might be ready to eat.

"What time is it?" John asked as he looked around seeing it was dark other than a lamp and the TV on.

"It's seven-thirty; you slept the afternoon away. Although I did wake you here and there to get some water into you because I can't let you get dehydrated but otherwise you slept soundly," she admitted.

John frowned. "And you stayed; I'm sure you have other more important things to do on your only day off then sit and watch me sleep."

She shook her head. John just didn't get it did he? "How do you know that today is my only day off?" she asked instead.

"A hunch…" he hedged.

"Uh-huh, sure it is. John I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be," she assured him simply. "Do you feel up to eating?"

"Only if you'll eat with me," he stipulated.

Joss smiled. "Deal," she agreed. "I'll go warm up our soup and you…stay put; I'll help you sit up." With that she turned and walked unhurriedly to his kitchen as if she owned his place. But he didn't wait for her to help him sit up; instead he stubbornly did it himself. His muscles ached but he forced himself to move; he wasn't going to let a stomach bug out do him.

When she reappeared with two mugs of soup she glowered at him. "I thought I told you not to move," she demanded.

John shrugged. "I wanted to do it."

Joss swallowed her lecture because she had to remember John was a proud and independent man who wasn't used to having anyone actually care about him. She moved to the bed and handed him the mug. He took it and she was glad she decided on the mugs because his hands were a little shaky.

He patted the bed beside him. "Sit," he ordered gently.

"Now who's the bossy one?" she teased but followed his order as she sat down beside him on his bed stretching her feet in front of her leaning up against the headboard.

Things were quiet as they each sipped their respective soups. She wiggled her toes in her socks and mused at how different today was from what she was expecting it to be. Joss figured all she'd be doing was her chores and be bored to the point of tears.

"Do you know what number Shaw is working because if not it will make you feel better?" she asked after a moment. Shaw had Facetimed her and Joss never laughed as hard as she did when she saw Shaw and what she was wearing.

John chuckled lightly. "I know the newest number is a mall Santa."

Joss looked at him conspiratorially. "But do you know she's undercover as Santa's little helper," she remarked with another chuckle.

He eyed her. "Shaw's an elf?" he asked and she nodded. "Does she jingle?"

"Ridiculously so," Joss replied. Shaw had been so animated during their video call that she jingled merrily while issuing threats to stop laughing at her.

A little smile wiggled on his face. "You're right, that does make me feel better."

They fell silent again as she snuggled up closer to him not afraid of catching what he had. She had her flu shot and washed her hands often since getting here. But if she did manage to catch the bug he had then it would be worth it by being here for him.

"I left her behind because I thought it would make me a better soldier," he whispered unsure of why he was choosing now of all times to tell her about Jessica.

Joss blinked a little in surprise as she looked at him as he changed the subject to something she never thought he'd ever be willing to talk about. "Jessica?" she asked. He nodded and she set her empty mug of soup down on the nightstand beside her, noting John was avoiding eye contact. The timing of the fact he was finally opening up could be just due to fatigue and battling an illness but she wasn't going to kick a gift horse in the mouth. "Why did you think letting the woman you loved go would make you a better soldier?"

"Everyone that died on the other side had a picture, Joss."

"So you thought if you didn't have anyone in your life, no picture, than you'd come home," she murmured and he nodded curtly. "John there is no guilt in being afraid to die," she assured him as she reached out to rub his forearm.

"I left her behind because I was a coward," he countered.

"You are many things, John, but a coward isn't one of them. You were only doing what you felt was right for you…to survive. That's what anyone would do. It's called being human," Joss replied.

He looked up finally and gazed into her eyes. "Have you done something that you felt was right for you and it hurt everyone else around you?"

"Of course, I have. John I'm not perfect," she comforted. He blinked in surprise. "John, seriously, I'm not perfect."

"You are to me."

Joss felt a swift change in the air between them and she swallowed hard as she had to remember he was getting over the flu or she would just lean in and kiss him. Having John open up to her was something she waited years for; she was patient and wanted to prove to him he could trust her with his real self. The attraction that ran rampant between them was getting harder to ignore and resist. Maybe one day soon they would stop trying but today wasn't it.

"Well John, I think you are perfectly imperfect to me," she murmured softly as she reached out to take his mug from his shaky hands setting it beside hers on the nightstand. She looped her arms around one of his and rested her head against his shoulder; they stayed that way for long into the night.

* * *

AN: I remember the Careese Theme I posted of Joss sick and everyone wanted to see John sick so this was in response to that.

Thanks for reading!


	7. Seven Trees-a-Decorating

_**AN: I hope everyone had a nice holiday and I also hope you guys don't mind me finishing this up later than Christmas since I didn't anticipate how busy I was going to be.**_

* * *

 **On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…**

 **Seven Trees-a-Decorating  
**

It was Saturday evening and Joss just got home and changed after work; while Taylor was out with a friend. Last night she and Taylor had worked in tandem to decorate the house for the impending holiday. The Christmas tree was in full display near her fireplace. Garland decorated the mantle, along with her and Taylor's stockings. Joss had some little knick-knacks but she didn't over decorate for the holiday. And on the front door they hung their wreath and she placed two poinsettias on her front porch.

So with her spare time she decided to call her mother for their usual Saturday talks. Her mother answered on the first ring. "Good evening, momma." Joss greeted as she took a seat on her couch, taking a little sip of her wine.

"Good evening, sweetheart." her mother's soft older voice greeted readily. "How is my baby girl?"

"I'm good,"

"And my grandson?—how's Taylor?"

"Getting straight A's in all his classes." Joss announced proudly.

"Takes just after his mother," her mother said equally proud. "Now that I have you baby girl please tell me what to get my grandson for Christmas. And I don't want to hear you say a giftcard." her mother said sternly.

Joss hesitated. "Well…"

Her momma sighed. "All Taylor wants is giftcards," she muttered.

"Yea. He's a teenage boy, mom."

Her mother harrumphed. "I'll think of something to wrap that holds the giftcard." she replied firmly. Joss smiled. Her mother loved wrapping gifts. "What about my darling baby girl? What would you like for Christmas?"

"Anything you want to get me, momma. I'll love whatever you get." she assured, ripping a page out of her mother's playbook. Joss didn't even bother to ask what her mother would want because her mother never asked for anything. "Has Taylor told you about Hayley?"

"Yes. He sounds like he really likes her." her mother responded happily.

Joss smiled. "She's such a pretty little thing too. And she's got brains; Hayley has all A's too! Taylor wants to give her earrings for Christmas, nothing expensive, but not cheap either."

"If my grandson is thinking jewelry I hope to meet her soon."

"Well how about when we come over for Christmas Eve we'll bring her. Taylor is going to head to her parents place on Christmas Day and then head over to his dad's afterwards." Joss admitted. Joss hoped she had her own plans for the afternoon with a certain sexy man in a suit.

"Sounds perfect." her mother agreed. "Now, tell me Joss that you are finally moving on from Cal Beecher. You're far too young to give up on finding love again."

Joss exhaled as her mother just wouldn't drop this subject. Every Saturday she called her mother for their weekly mother/daughter phone calls, and every Saturday her mother asked her when she was ready to begin dating again.

"Momma…"

"Jocelyn, you are my only child and I want you happy." her mother responded defensively.

"I am happy momma. I have my son, I have my friends, and I have John." she assured.

"Who's John?" her mother asked.

"He's a friend." she said quickly.

"But you said you have friends and then you said you have John. If he's just a friend than why did you separate him." her mother demanded. Joss felt her shoulders stiffen as she had inadvertently given her mother a crumb. "Jocelyn is he your boyfriend?"

"No!" she said, barely biting her tongue to keep from adding 'I wish' to the end of her response.

Her mother didn't relent. "Are you dating him?" she asked not deterred.

"No."

"Please honey; tell me you aren't having a casual affair because you're not cut out for those."

"No," Joss answered through clenched teeth. This was why she didn't want to tell her mother about John. Her mother would get the wrong idea and there was no telling if or when John would ever admit to what was going on between them. So far this past month, ever since what happened in the morgue really, they were getting closer and closer. "He's…" Joss began but trailed off when she couldn't figure out how to exactly describe John.

"He's your friend that you have feelings for." her mother supplied.

"Yes," she agreed before realizing what her mother said. "Wait, I meant no."

"Jocelyn Renee don't you lie to your mother!"

Joss deflated when she got the 'mom' voice. "Yes, okay momma, yes, I like him more than a friend." she confessed softly. "Are you happy now?" she grumbled.

"I am now, knowing you, my spirited daughter, who is very picky when it comes to men is finally ready to move forward. I was so worried you wouldn't want to try again after Cal was killed. It took you a long time to let go of what happened with Paul to even try dating again." her mother said soothingly. "I just want you happy, sweetheart."

"I know momma, I love you so much." Joss whispered sincerely.

"I love you more than anything little girl." she said sweetly. "I know you worked today so I will let you go without hounding you for more details about this John."

"Thank you mom,"

"I'll save those questions for next Saturday." her mother assured and Joss harrumphed. "Bye sweetheart,"

"Bye mom," she responded.

Joss stood but froze as John appeared out of thin air not surprisingly since he was nearly here more than she was but what did surprise her was his attire. John stood there in jeans, a leather coat, and a smile.

"How's your mother?"

She barely registered what he said. Joss was far more interested in how good John looked in jeans and leather. But what he said hit her like a freight train. He asked her about her mother which meant he heard her on the phone! "Were you listening to my conversation?" she demanded as she realized he could have heard her tell her mother that she had more than friendly feelings for him.

"No. Well not really. I caught the end when you were hanging up." he admitted.

Joss internally did a victory pump that he hadn't heard anything. She was pretty sure telling John, or having him accidentally learn, about her feelings for him wouldn't go over well. He had just told her about Jessica just this week as he was bed ridden with a nasty stomach bug. It took three years just to get him to feel comfortable enough to tell her about why he really walked away from Jessica. There was no way in hell he was ready to move on quite yet and she didn't want the level of intimacy and the deepening of their relationship to be ruined because he felt the need to back pedal because of her feelings for him.

"How are you feeling?" she demanded flustered. It was if he was conjured up because of the phone call with her mother just to rile her up. But she was happy to see him since the last time she saw him he had fallen asleep after telling her about Jessica where she pulled up his comforter and left.

"I'm better,"

"You look better," she agreed, using the chance to take a good long onceover on John, who looked downright sexy in leather, before meeting his gaze head on. "No lingering illness?" she questioned further.

"No. I feel better Carter; you took good care of me." he reassured.

Joss smiled slightly. "Better than what you would have done for yourself." she muttered as she folded her arms over her chest. "So let me guess you need my help with something. No suit so that either means we are going undercover or going on a trip." she said.

"I do need your help but not with a number."

"Then what?" she asked.

Joss watched as a look of uncertainty appeared on his handsome face. "Well, you suggested I get a tree so I thought maybe you could help me pick one out and get some decorations. I haven't decorated anything since I was seventeen years old." he explained quietly.

She stared at him. "You're going to get a Charlie Brown tree?" she questioned making sure she heard him correctly.

"No, I want to get a tree; not a stick. Unless you changed your mind about wanting an invitation to my place now that you've seen it." he said, feeling nervous. Perhaps this was a stupid idea. His feelings for this woman were all over the map and he kept ping-ponging back and forth over whether or not denying his feelings were a good idea.

"Hell no, I haven't changed my mind! Are you nuts?—I'm getting an invitation to come over…finally. Let me get some shoes on and we can head out." she said quickly. She wasn't sure what the fact that he was getting a Christmas tree so she could come over on the holiday meant, if anything, but it meant something precious to her. 

* * *

Shopping with John was an adventure all in itself, Joss decided. She was just grateful that they were back at his place decorating his new artificial tree that she suggested. John didn't have the time to take care of a real tree, like her. But just because she talked him into buying an artificial tree over a real one made shopping easier, no, because then he needed ornaments, lights, and garland. Joss added a stocking when he wasn't looking too.

By the time they were finished shopping she was pooped. It had been a long day at work and an even longer one with John shopping. The man was ridiculously slow!

But now they were finally back at his place decorating his brand spanking new tree and she couldn't stop chuckling at him. John was tall enough to put the star at the top without needing a step-stool of any kind. However watching him get the hang of putting lights on the limbs was cute. Twice he got wrapped up and she had to help untangle him. While he tried to figure out the lights she hung back and admired the view she received. Not often was John dressed in skin tight jeans and she wasn't wasting an opportunity to get a good look-see for anyone.

John stepped back and turned on the switch and the tree lit up. Joss smiled. "I think it can be seen from space," she commented jokingly. John went a little overboard with the lights.

"Maybe you were right the last set of fifty wasn't needed," he murmured with a sigh.

She scoffed. "I told you three sets ago they weren't needed. Thank god you didn't get a real tree the poor thing would be ablaze in a week," she retorted before ripping into one of the new boxes of multiple colored ball ornaments he bought. "But we need to hustle because it's getting past my bedtime and we only got the thing half finished."

John glanced at his watch and saw it was eleven at night. "Carter, go home, I can finish myself," he said as he hadn't realized time had flown. It seemed whenever they were together time flew by and he was always sad to see it end.

"I'll go home when the job is finished," she refuted as she began hooking the ornaments and handed two to John while keeping two for herself.

"Is there any technique to this?" he asked as he perused the tree and saw she had already put the two ornaments on.

Joss smiled. "No, especially not yours, since you don't have a theme or anything like that; you just put them on until you're happy with how it looks."

They quietly worked together and when they both stepped back they were happy with the result. "You know, with the ornaments on, it doesn't look so bright now." she said softly. "It's pretty."

He smiled as he looked down at her. "Thanks Carter I couldn't have done this without you."

She smiled back at him as she turned to grab her coat. "You could have but it might have really turned out like the Charlie Brown Christmas tree." she teased as she tugged her coat on and buttoned it up. "I look forward to seeing it on Christmas Day. I'll bring the dessert." she said.

John followed her to his door. "I could drive you home." he offered.

She waved him off. "I'll be fine taking a taxi, John," she said as he opened the door for her. "Stay out of trouble," she admonished as she stepped out of his apartment.

"You're my first call remember; we'll cause trouble together," he purred as he leaned up against the door. Joss couldn't help but chuckle at him. "Goodnight Carter, sweet dreams."

"Goodnight John," She responded then turned and walked away, with her hands shoved in her pockets, and he watched her until she disappeared from his view.


	8. Eight Ugly Sweaters

**On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…**

 **Eight Ugly Sweaters  
**

When Shaw asked her to go lend John some assistance, she hadn't known what to expect. But she hadn't expected to find John in the worst's ugliest Christmas sweater, pulling an unconscious man under the arms to his car, and decidedly handsome all the while doing so.

"What in the world are you wearing?" she asked, earning John's gaze as he looked up.

"Carter, what are you doing here?" he asked instead of answering her.

She shrugged. "Shaw said you could use some help, so I'm here," she said as she hurried over to John. "Who is this guy?"

"Our new number…"

She cocked a brow up as John dropped the man down rather abruptly. "Is he a perp?" she wondered as she eyed the unconscious man. He looked rather familiar.

"No. He was the victim. I stopped someone from trying to kill him at his office Christmas Party. I was going to stash him in my trunk and take him home." John stated darkly.

She stared at him. Stash the victim in the trunk? "Okay who is this guy?" she demanded.

"His name is Leon Tao. And he keeps finding himself in trouble that requires Shaw, Finch, and I to always bail him out of his jams. One of these days I'm not answering the call."

Joss nodded. "You wouldn't do that. But since you're tired of seeing Leon; how about I take him?—I have the perfect place for him to wake up at to maybe knock a little sense into him." she offered which seemed to placate John. But John didn't seem to require any assistance as Shaw insisted which meant she wasn't here to help John at all but rather get a laugh as he looked absurd. Shaw had that kind of humor but she found John quite sexy even in an ugly Christmas sweater. Her gaze slid down to his pants and frowned when he was wearing dress slacks and not jeans. She had two weaknesses: chocolate chip mint ice cream and John in jeans…especially John in jeans.

She eyed his shirt, on the front was a rather large depiction of Rudolf's face with a large 3D nose poking out near John's naval. It even blinked red! Joss took a gander at the back of the shirt which had the back half of the reindeer with his back legs and a 3D tail that she grabbed and wagged it.

"Stop playing with my tail," he grumbled.

Joss laughed softly. "Those are words I never thought to ever hear you say," she replied as she continued to play with it. "So if you hate this sweater so much then why did you pick it?"

John dragged Leon towards her car. "This was the sweater Finch found for me to get into the party unnoticed. How can you go anywhere unnoticed in this hideous thing is anyone's guess? But Shaw was conveniently unavailable to help until after I already got here. And her idea of helping is laughing," he explained lowly. John planned retribution. It would be easy too; he'd slip her some tofu steak and see who was the last one laughing.

She enjoyed seeing John's grumpiness. "Well she did play Santa's little helper while you were out sick with the flu," she reminded him as she reluctantly let go of the tail to open the back door of her car so John could pick Leon up and deposit him in it.

"How's that my fault?" he wondered as he pushed Leon's legs to the side and slammed the door shut. "And the fact that she pretended to be an elf wasn't that far-fetched."

"I'm sorry, John, but I can't take you seriously right now," she admitted as she couldn't stop smiling at how impossibly cute John was right now. He was so disgruntled with a deadly look on his sexy face but was overshadowed by the reindeer on his shirt with the nose blinking red. His looked soured and she couldn't resist teasing him more. "Is that nose lighting up because you're happy to see me?" she teased.

His lips twitched before he forcefully scowled. "I'm glad you find this funny, Carter."

She nodded. "Maybe you should wear this when I come over for Christmas," she said just to poke her grumpy bear further as she walked around the car because she needed to take sleeping beauty to the morgue. Maybe she could scare Leon into taking less chances with his life by letting himself see where he could end up because he couldn't bank on John or Shaw always being able to bail him out of the scrape he found himself in.

"There are many things I'd do for you, Carter; I'd die for you but wearing this Christmas shirt is a line I won't cross even for you," he murmured. He heard her audible gasp and as she turned to look at him.

Joss swallowed hard at how easily he said he would die for her. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask if that meant he was ready to acknowledge his feelings for her; the feelings that simmered underneath the façade of just being friends. The ones that lead to him opening up to her and the same ones that led to his kissing her at the morgue.

But instead of asking the question she so desperately wanted she said; "Well, if I can't get your blinking nose shirt than I'll settle on seeing you in jeans again because the backside view is stellar" she flirted openly. She was used to his low key flirtation, especially during tense moments trying to diffuse the situation, but she wasn't one to do low key not after what he just admitted. She was through not showing her hand at what she wanted.

"Uh, well, if you like them…"

Joss grinned at how flustered he got. "I do," she said with a wink before climbing into her car with the unconscious man leaving John to watch her as his shirt's nose continued to blink red as she pulled away.

* * *

AN: Joss openly flirting and John openly being flustered by her flirting just makes me warm inside.

Thank you for reading!


	9. Nine People Skating

**On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…**

 **Nine People Skating  
**

* * *

"You should go home…"

Joss rolled her eyes as John repeated what he had said two hours ago. "I'll go home when I'm good and ready too, John," she retorted.

They had been sitting out in his car for better then three hours on a stakeout that never seemed to end. Their newest number was partying hard. Ms. Susan Sullivan was a young divorcee, legal secretary, and apparent life of the party as she was in a bar having fun during Ladies Night. Shaw and Root were on the inside; Shaw was posing as a bartender while Root was just a patron, while they watched from the outside. John had tried to push her to go inside with the brunettes but she declined, finding being with him, even on a stakeout, far more enjoyable.

So far nothing had happened but also there were zero clues as to why anyone would want to harm Ms. Sullivan in the first place. The ex-husband had already moved on with someone even younger, the law firm she worked for specialized in divorce, and there was no new man in her life to speak of.

Joss glanced out the window and sighed wistfully as she could see, off in the distance, the giant Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center.

John looked her way, seeing she was looking out the window and he followed her line of vision. "What's got you down, Carter?" he asked quietly. He was still trying to figure out her comment from the other day; the flirty one, about him in jeans. John felt torn because half of him wanted it to mean something and the other half of him liked their relationship the way it was.

"The ice skating rink has been open since October and I haven't gotten a chance yet to go skating." she said regretfully. "I love ice skating but things have been so busy."

"You still have time to go…."

Joss looked away and met his gaze. "Are you volunteering on taking me?" she asked in what she hoped was not a so subtle hint that she wanted him to.

He shook his head as he looked to the bar their number had disappeared into hours ago. Again there was that undercurrent beneath her innocent enough words. "I wouldn't be much use to you Carter as I never ice skated before," he admitted.

Joss gaped at him. "I'm sorry, is my age showing because I think my hearing is going but I could swear you said that you never ice skated before and that's just unheard of?!"

He chuckled as he looked at her again. "Carter, when I was a kid I ping-ponged from base to base with my mom and dad. Then we moved to Colorado for a little while but I didn't live there long and then I moved to Washington on my Aunt's farm. Ice skating was the furthest thing from my mind," he explained simply.

"You haven't lived until you ice skated!" she assured, which earned a chuckle from him. "I'm serious!"

John didn't respond and things fell silent in the car once more as she side-eyed him; she couldn't believe he never ice skated before. She had ice skated since she was eight years old. She took Taylor out once a year until he grew old enough to find it not as enjoyable anymore with his old mom. John didn't know what he was missing but she'd show him! Joss looked away with the resolution that she was going to show John the joys of ice skating whether or not he wanted it.

* * *

John exited his car at Rockefeller Center early in the morning at the behest of Carter; she had called him to meet her here sounding urgent. He couldn't believe that in less than a week it would be Christmas; the first one he actually cared about since Jessica died.

John found Carter, in black leggings and a leather coat, waiting for him with two sets of ice skates in her gloved hands. She grinned as he came to an abrupt stop. "I just can't live with myself if I don't show you the joys of ice skating."

John stared at her and then at the skates and then back at her. "You called me here to go ice skating?" he asked. The other night Carter had found out the fact that he had never ice skated beyond appalling while he had found it amusing that she found it appalling but he hadn't really thought she'd try to get him out on the ice. He was too old to try ice skating.

She rolled her eyes. "Do I have to only call you when it's a life or death situation?" she demanded a little annoyed. "I would have let you sleep in a bit but I called to get a reservation so we could have some time to ourselves on the rink without that many people." Joss had called and asked Finch for John's shoe size and he knew unsurprisingly.

"Carter…"

Joss held out his skates. "Please John; you only live once and it would make me very happy," she tried cajoling him. He narrowed his eyes before reluctantly taking the skates and she grinned happily.

"Carter this is your Christmas gift," he threatened.

"I'll happily take it," she assured him.

John lied as he had a different item for a gift for her. He had thought long and hard on what to get Joss and he settled on something he knew she'd never get herself.

Joss put her skates on at the speed of light to beat John so he couldn't try to back out of going on the ice. She stood and waited for him to finish putting his skates on and walked gingerly with her to the ice. She swallowed a giggle at the look on his face. John clearly was a little wary about ice skating for his first time.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Just wondering what sort of health insurance Finch pays for," he commented.

Joss chuckle. "You won't need to worry about that because I'm an excellent teacher, though, then again, if you're a lousy student then you may be in trouble," she reassured, feeling giddy that she talked John into doing this.

"Carter, haven't you ever heard of the old adage that you can't teach old dog's new tricks?" he murmured as he debated on telling Carter that he wasn't going to do this. But she seemed so excited and it irritated him that he liked that he made her this happy.

She rolled her eyes. "You'll love it! Are you ready?" she asked.

"Uh-huh…."

"Doesn't sound like it, John," she retorted before stepping out on the ice and skated away a little to turn to look back at him. She waved him on. "Just put a skate on the ice and go." she instructed.

"You make it sound so easy," he grumbled.

"Well if you want to be the next Trevor Gretzky you need to get on the ice to begin with!" Joss stated, knowing John was a sports guy.

He cocked a brow up. "Who?—do you mean Wayne Gretzky?"

She frowned. "Hockey isn't my sport," she muttered. "I'm more a basketball and football fan myself. Now get your butt out here!"

John tentatively got onto the ice and he had his arms spread out and he was waving them around trying to keep his balance as he barely moved forward. "You look like a baby fawn trying to learn how to walk," Joss teased as she laughed. All the stress from the week faded away as she skated close to him. His sexy spicy cologne filled her nostrils and she took another slow deliberate inhalation. Mmm, she definitely could get used to this; spending her free time with him that didn't involve bullets, bad guys, or pesky nosy friends.

"Carter…" he warned as he latched a hand onto her forearm and refused to let go.

"Oh come on John; you got to admit you look like Bambi!" she retorted. He chuckled as he shook his head. Spending time with this woman, outside of working, was becoming a necessity in his life. That could be the only explanation as to why he allowed her to talk him into ice skating in the first place.

Joss moved slowly with John, who clearly wasn't stable on the skates yet, and couldn't believe she talked him into ice skating with her. When she called him here she had kept her expectations low figuring he'd tell her no and that'd be that. But instead he had been hesitant and then with a little persuasion he agreed. Maybe she should try that approach with asking him to dinner that wasn't remotely friendly in any way. She glanced at him and grinned.

"What?" he muttered, sensing her look rather than seeing it.

"Nothing," she replied.

John's death grip on her forearm never loosened but he did move forward a little quicker and she took that as her cue that he was ready to move on the ice a little faster so she skated quicker with him.

"You find this relaxing, Carter?" he asked after a while.

She nodded. "I love ice skating."

John didn't respond as he concentrated on keeping upright rather than falling on his ass in an embarrassed and painful heap. He couldn't wait until this ice skating excursion to make her happy was over and he was back on solid, non-slippery, ground again.

They, both, skated around as it grew steadily busier with more and more people on the ice. Joss caught sight of a group of kids with one woman as their chaperone. She supposed they were out of school already.

"Are you having fun John?" she asked after looking up at him.

He didn't have the heart to tell her that after today he would never put a pair of ice skates on ever again. "It's interesting," he said instead.

Joss rolled her eyes. "Translation: you hate it. Why did you come on the ice with me if you knew you'd hate it?" she wondered.

"For you," he answered, risking a glance her way, taking his eyes off the ice beneath him. "You said the other night you wanted to skate and I figured if I said no then you wouldn't either."

"So you did this for me?"

"Yes," he agreed readily. "But hopefully you're ready to get off the ice because we are in the middle of the rink and there is no way in hell I can make it back on my own." he commented dryly as he looked back.

She chuckled. "What, the man in the suit couldn't figure out a way back himself? The same man that figures out whatever he has on hand to take down a would-be killer." she retorted playfully as she continued skating with him further out on the rink.

"Oh I could but not without falling on my ass a few dozen times on the way," he muttered.

"Can't let you get a bruised butt or you'd never hear the end of it from Shaw and Root," she teased and earned herself a look for her trouble.

Joss was about to give him good news that she was ready to pack it in but watched as a young girl who could be no older than ten years old accidentally bump into John from behind which was a domino effect as he wasn't steady on his skates and he desperately grabbed a hold of her and with his forward momentum and his strength, she lost her footing too and they tumbled down to the ice together with John breaking her fall.

She couldn't help the laughter as she buried her face in John's chest and laughed as the kid didn't seem too apologetic over knocking them over as she skated off with barely a mumbled apology.

"Glad you find this hilarious, Carter," he grumbled as he fought to control his own mirth at their situation. His butt didn't hurt but his back sure did though his ego wasn't wounded because Carter had fell with him and her soft warm body was on top of him which made feeling anything aside from her a near impossibility.

Joss lifted her head up and stared down at him. "Had you seen the look on your face you'd understand. But thank you for breaking my fall," she purred as she slowly realized that she was lying on top of John and it felt comfortable. She felt his gloved hands on her hips as they stared at each other.

Her lips parted slightly as his eyes darkened as they dropped to her mouth. There was no denying or deflecting that was a look of pure desire. John wanted to kiss her and she wanted him to. She bent her head down so their lips were close.

"Joss," he whispered and the moment was broken as the woman and the children she noticed earlier, all except the little red head that knocked John over, skated over to them to help them up all the while apologizing profusely for what happened.

Joss was more miffed by the interruption than the fact that the girl knocked them over but she hid her longing behind a smile as it took nearly all four girls, the woman, and Joss to help John to his inexperienced feet.

* * *

The little girl with red hair skated over to the other side of the rink as her mother and friends were helping the couple up that she knocked down. She grinned as she saw the brunette still standing there.

"I knocked them over like you wanted." she said looking back at the scene as it took nearly everyone to help the man up. She felt bad for hitting the man but they didn't get hurt so she didn't feel that bad.

Shaw grinned. "Good job too, kid; you took both down, here's your other half of our agreement." Shaw murmured as she handed the girl the other ten bucks.

"Thanks, lady!" the girl said with a smile.

"Don't tell anyone about this," Shaw stated with a twist of her lips. The girl nodded before skating off to meet up with her other little kiddy friends.

Shaw eyed Carter and Reese as they were standing on the ice stupidly looking at each other. "Just friends," she muttered with a snort. "I know exactly what to get them for Christmas now," she said to herself with a wicked grin before shoving her gloved hands into her pockets and walked away.

* * *

AN: Devious Shaw is a lot of fun to write especially when her prey is John and Joss.

Thank you for reading!


	10. Ten Mistletoe-a-Hanging

**On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…**

 **Ten Mistletoe-a-Hanging  
**

Things were getting murkier and murkier between her and John. There were only four more days until Christmas, until she got to go to his place and experience the holiday that wasn't alone. Oh, she spent time with her son and he was all that she ever needed. But with him all grown up it was nice that she would get to spend the holiday with someone. And what made it even better was that someone was John. She had his presents wrapped and ready to go. Shaw seemed pretty sure of her gift that she had been noticeably absent from following her around, thankfully. Joss was tired of having Shaw hounding her every move.

Although she hadn't seen John since the day they went skating, the same day that a little girl took John down like a sexy domino and tumbling her down along with him, but also it was the same day she had thought he was going to kiss her until they were rudely interrupted. John didn't seem to be actively avoiding her because he had called her for help for a new number but to make sure she was going to call him for lunch.

Joss sat at her desk, sipping her coffee, procrastinating on her paperwork, much preferring to think about the almost kiss with John on the ice.

"Don't look now Carter, but Mr. Fabulous is here," Fusco announced as he looked up from his computer to see the bane of his existence enter the set of double doors to the bullpen. He looked like a fish out of water as he stuck out in his fancy clothes and coat.

Joss looked up and gaped as sure enough John was walking towards her. Sure there were no active warrants for the man-in-the-suit as he was more or less a non-entity to police, but it wasn't good for her mental health having a man that lived on the outskirts of the law, who she cared very much about, in her precinct.

She got to her feet and motioned with her eyes to the interrogation room which John simply nodded and walked to it. She followed him inside, shutting the door behind her with a slam.

He turned and she glared at him as she spoke; "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I need your help," he answered simply.

She folded her arms over her chest. "Haven't you heard of a phone call or text, John?" she demanded. "This isn't the best place for you to be at." Joss would do whatever it took to keep John out of the police's sights but he could help her out by not strolling casually into the closest precinct like he owned the damn place.

He shrugged. "There isn't an active investigation into me anymore. Unless you know something I don't, Carter,"he murmured.

"No, because the investigation into you closed when Moss decided Snow was who Donnelly was investigating and not you. But that doesn't mean that your moniker of the–man-in-the-suit hasn't come up once or twice since. It just gets buried or ignored," she muttered. "But you need to be careful, John. We barely escaped the first time and I think you caused me enough gray hair."

He smiled. "I don't see any," he commented as he eyed her dark hair.

She puffed out a loud exhale through her nose. "John…"

John nodded, deciding not to tease his annoyed detective further. "I'll make this quick; as you know my clean alias works on Wall Street; well they have an annual Christmas party, last couple years I've just declined going."

"Okay…?"

"I would have done the same this year but we just got a new number last night and it's a co-worker of mine. In fact it's my assistant, Leslie." he explained. She was a wonderful person and was a great mother and wife; he couldn't think of anyone that would want to kill her.

Joss arched a brow. "I still don't see why you needed to come here to tell me or what this has to do with me?" she murmured.

She watched with interest as John shifted from foot to foot and appeared to be a little nervous. "The Christmas party includes a plus one. I was hoping that you'd attend the party with me," he explained, relieved that he got the words out without stammering.

Joss frowned, feeling like she was missing a piece to a puzzle. There was more to this request than merely wanting an assist on a case to keep an eye on his co-worker. He could have just texted or called her up. But John took the time to come here and ask in person, presumably wanting her to say yes, and figured a face to face meeting would make her accept. Joss should just tell him no and see what he'd do. But then, she didn't want to say no.

"Alright, I'm game but there better be no saunas this time!"

He smiled. "Thanks Carter, just so you know the party is tonight and its formal attire."

"Tonight! Thanks for the short notice! Fine, now get out of here before someone realizes you don't belong here." she grumbled and he nodded before exiting the interrogation room.

* * *

She couldn't believe she had gone out and bought a new dress for this party with John. It wasn't like it was a date or anything but she was John's plus one in front of his co-workers. But the emerald green gown with a peek-a-boo cleavage spoke to her. And spoke to John too judging from the way he gaped at her when she answered her door. Joss smiled as she thought about his mumbled 'you look beautiful' and felt incredibly warm at the compliment. But then he seemed to have been preoccupied with her curly hair after finishing staring at her body; who knew John liked curls!

They arrived at the party about a half hour after it began just about the same time Leslie, John's assistant, arrived. But it became abundantly clear as to why John had asked her to be his plus one at this little office party and it had nothing to do with the number they received.

Joss watched as the buxom blond who was glaring daggers her way made her way towards them. The moment they entered the woman was watching John like a hawk and mentally disrobing him.

Joss heard John's exhale as he saw blondie moving close and John's hand that rested at his side move to rest on her hip and pulled her closer to him. She hid her surprise at the possessive touch and so she used her newfound freedom to touch him to rest a hand on his hip.

"John, you came to one of these finally," the woman spoke with a breathless quality. Her neatly done hair had about ten pounds of hairspray in it and had an obviously fake smile on her face as she eyed Joss. "And you brought a friend."

"I'm not his friend," Joss returned with a smile before reaching a hand out. "I'm Joss Carter, his date."

"Becca," the woman replied as she took her hand in a weak shake before hastily giving John his full attention. "You never said you were seeing anyone, John."

Joss narrowed her eyes on the blond, as she was blatantly ignored, feeling her patience wan. "Well he is; we've been friends for a while but just recently decided to begin dating," she explained.

"Oh," Becca murmured nodding her head. "Say no more, I understand perfectly."

Joss felt her temper flare as this woman seemed to be fluffing her off as if she figured John was dating her out of pity. "Surprising you can understand anything." Joss said scathingly.

John looked between both women and winced. Perhaps not telling Joss the real reason why she was here was ill-advised. He pasted on a smile as he focused on Carter. "Let's dance, Joss; excuse us, Becca." he murmured before leading Carter out to the dance floor with him feeling Becca's eyes on him as they went.

The sweet little dance floor, was in the middle of the room, with tables lining the walls where people were milling around the square dance floor. A Christmas tree decorated the corner near the door, several waitresses and waiters were carrying trays of champagne and different appetizers. The large banquet hall where they were in was darkened and lit up with candles and white icicle lights lending an intimate yet holiday feel to the room.

And just as they took the dance floor a slow song called _Happy New Year_ by Nat King Cole began to play. John smiled softly. "I love this song," he murmured as he pulled her into his arms.

She returned the smile. "Me too," she agreed as she slowly wound her arms around his neck as they began to dance closely. His hands rested on her hips with his eyes on hers. They both were silent as they listened to the music and were enthralled with each other.

"Did I tell you that you look beautiful, Carter?" he asked quietly. If he hadn't then he should.

"You did, back at my house, you kind of mumbled it, but it's always nice to hear again," she murmured warmly.

John stared at her. "Well you look beautiful," he said, making sure there was no mumbling before taking a quick look around to find Leslie and found her still with her husband standing with a few other co-workers talking and drinking champagne. He scanned the room and didn't see anyone that looked remotely like a threat so he relaxed in Carter's embrace and enjoyed a dance with a woman who was a dream come true.

"Thank you, John," she purred, tucking away the compliment as she let her fingers tease the hair at the nape. It was so soft, as soft as she always suspected. "So now I know why you asked me here. It's because of Becca."

He sighed. "Becca has asked me to dinner several times and I decline but I thought maybe if she saw me with a date tonight that she'd stop."

"Just tell her you're not interested."

He laughed. "Tell Becca I'm not interested?—she believes she's every man's dream. Becca is a nice woman but very confident in her attractiveness."

Joss made a sound. "Ah, one of those," she grumbled. Those women always annoyed Joss. But it was cute that John felt the need to have her come, pose as his shield, so he could get out of this party without fending Becca off. John could easily look down a barrel of a gun and not panic but looking in the eyes of a woman interested in him he froze like a deer in headlights. She noticed the mistletoe that hung over the dance floor, the same mistletoe that John hadn't seen as he had his back to it. She watched as a couple shared a sweet kiss beneath it before dancing their way out from underneath it. Joss couldn't help herself as she slowly helped drift John that way.

"Well there is one way to show you're disinterested," she conspired as John slowly danced his way under the mistletoe.

He eyed her perplexed and she looked up which he followed before looking her back in the eyes in surprise. "Mistletoe," she purred before pulling him down for a soft kiss. She sucked in a breath as their lips met. Their last kiss she hadn't even been able to fully enjoy, not with the threat of HR arriving to kill them, but this time she was going to bask in it.

John pulled back after a brief kiss and she swallowed her disappointment that once again she'd barely get a taste, before John dipped back down and kissed her hungrily. She moaned as her arms slid around his neck and kissed him back eagerly. Where they were, what they were supposed to be doing melted away as pleasure and the feel of John's mouth against hers took precedence. She shivered as sensations threatened to overwhelm her as she felt the warm brush of John's tongue against the seam of her lips. Joss readily opened her mouth wide and was rewarded when John's tongue slid across hers.

"E-hem,"

John snapped back and stepped away from Joss, leaving her bereft, as he looked at his co-worker who was smirking at him as he danced with his wife. "Hey, John, me and the wife would like a go under the mistletoe too," he said teasingly.

"Yea, sure, Ron…" he said quietly as he stepped out from under the mistletoe and gently pulled Joss with him completely off the dance floor.

Joss nearly grinned at the look on Becca's face as they walked past her but didn't because she much preferred kissing John again over gloating to some buxom blond.

John grabbed a glass of champagne off a tray of one of the waitresses walking by, as he moved close to Leslie, and let go of Carter's small warm hand as he sipped his alcohol.

She licked her lips liking the feel of his lips still on hers. "John," she whispered.

"Carter, not now," he responded tersely.

"When then?" she demanded. "We didn't talk about the morgue kiss and now you want me to not broach this one." Joss had determined the one in the morgue was about human connection during a perilous situation but this one…this one was about a man and a woman being attracted to one another.

"Please Carter, not now." he asked again, sounding strangled.

"Why?"

He looked at her. "Because I want you," he growled and with that he stalked off leaving her to watch him. Joss watched him, not wanting to push, but yet wanting to talk about it, and frowned as her cell phone rang. She really wasn't in the mood to talk, not when the one she wanted to talk too was off brooding away.

Joss opened her clutch and removed her phone angrily. She made a face as she saw it was Shaw. She answered quickly. "What do you want?" Joss demanded.

"Nice to talk to you too, not my fault Reese kisses you and then flees."

Joss went rigid. "What?! How the hell do you know John kissed me?" she demanded as she looked around the room in search for Shaw.

"Meet me in the ladies' room, Carter." Shaw said sounding very much smug.

Joss angrily hung up. After watching John, who had gone up to Leslie to talk with her, she whirled around and stormed her way towards the restrooms. Joss was going to wring that puny ex-operative's neck! She pushed the women's room door open and stormed into the bathroom and came to an abrupt stop as both Shaw and Root were waiting for her.

"Hi detective, you look amazing." Root greeted, with a cheesy grin on her face.

Joss set her hands on her hips. "Best to explain what the hell you two are doing here before I make you regret the decision," she declared. Her mind and body were still on that kiss John just laid on her. It wasn't often she was kissed with that amount of passion.

Shaw and Root shared a look before Shaw muttered; "This was yours and Reese's Christmas gift."

Joss furrowed her brows. "You two snooping around us is our Christmas gift?—more like our Christmas nightmare!"

"No. We gifted you each other. This whole thing is a setup; Reese's co-worker's number isn't up but we needed a way to get him to this lame Christmas party." Shaw explained. "I knew that the blond version of Jessica Rabbit wanted to be up in Reese's business and he wouldn't set foot in this Christmas party unless he had a plus one…you."

Joss arched a brow but otherwise didn't show any emotion. "Let me get this straight; your idea of a gift is coming up with a scheme that makes John believe his co-worker's number is up and has to come to this party he doesn't want to be at and bring me along because of Becca."

"Oh come on; I saw you two on the ice rink! You two practically were about to make out there. You just needed a shove in the right direction which I gave," Shaw explained.

"We helped! SHE gave Leslie's number because SHE knows John really cares about her. And I helped by being the decorator and putting the mistletoe up everywhere." Root chimed in, before giving a sappy little sigh. "I do so love fairytale endings."

Joss made a face. "I don't do fairytales, Root," she assured her with a dejected tone. If there was anything to happen between her and John they were going to go into it with eyes wide open.

"You don't think you and John are a fairytale?—he has more issues than _People_ and _Time_ magazines put together yet you are slowly putting Humpty Dumpty back together again. Sounds like a fairytale to me," Root said as if that made perfect sense.

Joss frowned. "I hate that what you just said actually makes sense to me," she grumbled, supremely disgruntled at the moment that she even understood anything this woman said to her. But John was kind of like Humpty Dumpty, emotionally speaking, and the idea of being what pieced his heart back together made her stupidly happy. But just because she understood them didn't mean she appreciated what they did or like it.

She turned to leave. "Where are you going, Carter?" Shaw demanded.

"To tell John that Leslie isn't in any danger," she replied simply. "Be forewarned: I suggest you both run as far and as fast as you can possibly get," she stated before opening the door.

"I'm not scared of Reese," Shaw retorted.

Joss stopped to look back at Root and Shaw. "I didn't say you had to run from John; if I lose him because you two butted your noses where they don't belong I'll be coming for you two." she vowed darkly before exiting, leaving them to watch her.

* * *

AN: I can't get it out my head canon that a.) John loves curls and gets a little awed by Carter whenever she wears them, and b.) that Carter would scare the ever loving shit out Root and Shaw. Had they not stupidly killed her off the show I would have loved to see Carter and Root interact LOL.

Now they've kissed now the real fun begins ;D Thanks for reading!


	11. Eleven Ageless Traditions

**On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…**

 **Eleven Ageless Traditions  
**

It was Christmas Eve and Joss felt dispirited. Sure it was nice to visit her mother and have a nice evening with her, her son, and Taylor's cute girlfriend Hayley, but she hadn't heard from John since the disaster of his office Christmas party for John Warren; the one where Shaw and Root set things up with the help of the machine where he kissed her in an entirely 'unfriendly' way. The passionate, I-have-to-kiss-you-because-my-life-depends-on-it kiss part she relished; it was the part where John was alerted to the fact that Shaw and Root were behind the reason Leslie's number came up that she didn't.

" _She's obsessing…."_

Joss was drawn back from her thoughts by her son's rather loud declaration.

" _How do you know that?"_ Hayley whispered back.

" _She's quiet,"_ Taylor answered.

Joss rolled her eyes as her son's and Hayley's whisper discussion was about as quiet as a blow-horn in a library.

" _Maybe your mom is concentrating on driving and not on this guy that she made out with_."

Joss debated on how long she was going to let the two 'whisper' as though she couldn't hear them. She hadn't wanted to tell Taylor about what happened between her and John because her son and John were friends and she didn't want any friction between the two men because of her. But, of course, her mother had pinned her into a corner about John until she spilled about their kiss at the office party and Taylor walked in on the conversation.

" _No. Trust me, it's about Mr. Badass_."

"You two know I can hear you right?" she demanded, unable to remain silent anymore. "And I'm not obsessing Taylor. I'm just thinking things over."

"What's to think over?—you and Mr. Badass are made for each other."

Joss let out a half-laugh half-sigh. "There's a lot more to factor in than just how we feel about each other, Taylor."

"Love is all you need!" Hayley exclaimed. Joss smiled at the innocence, wishing it was true. "Hear me out Mrs. C; I know it sounds like a fairytale but as long as you two love each other the rest will fall into place. That's what my mother always told me."

"Sweetheart, your parents have been married for what twenty-plus years?" Joss asked.

"Yes. I want that too," Hayley admitted with a quick look Taylor's way before looking away.

"So did I, but my marriage to Taylor's father ended badly. I tried again with a new man and lost him too. The 'love' department hasn't worked out well for me. But I appreciate your vote of confidence for John and me."

Things grew quiet as she arrived at Hayley's parents' place and pulled up to the curbside. "I'll walk you to the door." Taylor murmured as he climbed out and reached in to take Hayley's hand to help her out.

"Merry Christmas Mrs. C!" Hayley called out.

"Merry Christmas Hayley, and please call me Joss!" she insisted for what had to be the millionth time. The girl's manners were even more engrained in her than her son's were in him.

The girl just waved bye before Taylor slid the door closed and walked Hayley up to her front door. Joss shifted her attention on the rearview mirror and pretended to look at her hair when her son leaned in for a kiss. She looked as the passenger door opened and Taylor climbed in.

"I hope she had a nice time. Your grandma loves her," Joss said as she slowly pulled away from the curb once more to drive them home. After they were there she was sure her son would disappear into his room to go call Hayley to talk. Oh how young love was the best kind of love.

"I know she did but you're changing the subject," he stated.

Joss sighed. "What subject Taylor?—because the topic of John and I is over," she replied firmly.

"Just don't give up on John, mom. He likes you. He even told me so," Taylor insisted.

"Uh-uh, I doubt John said that," she muttered. That didn't sound like John who hid from his feelings and wouldn't openly admit to anything, especially to her son.

Taylor frowned. "Well he didn't tell me in so many words but you could read between the lines. He told me you make him happy and that he rarely feels happy."

She smiled, almost picturing their conversation as they play basketball. "Now that sounds like John." she whispered. "Baby, just don't get your hopes up about this. If John doesn't want to go for it I can't force him."

"But you want to?—go for it?"

"Yes." she answered honestly. "But John might not want to."

"And you'd be okay with friendship if that was all John wants?" Taylor asked incredulously. His mom never settled for anything so the fact that she would settle for friendship when she wanted more surprised him.

"Taylor, I'm through with this discussion."

They arrived home and thankfully her son dropped the subject. She unlocked the door as Taylor looked at his phone texting someone, most likely Hayley, as the two have been inseparable. Joss set her phone and keys on the small table near the staircase and removed her coat.

"Want to watch a movie?" she asked.

"Actually I was going to call Hayley."

She smiled. "Young love is the sweetest. Okay, but don't come crying to me to restart _Terminator_." she retorted as her son took off up the stairs.

Joss rubbed her hands together as she flipped the light on in her living room coming to an abrupt stop as she saw a small present resting near her fireplace. She looked around before slowly moving towards it. Joss hesitantly picked it up and saw it was addressed to her. There was only one person who would break into her home to leave her a present and that would be John. But why would he bring her the gift tonight when they were supposed to have dinner tomorrow?

She stared at it for over a minute before finally beginning to remove the wrapping paper; eyeing the small box dubiously before removing the lid and found a white envelope in it. The mysterious gift set her heart thundering as she picked it up to find out what exactly this was.

Joss smiled before setting it on the couch and walked to go grab her cell phone she left with her keys. She found and clicked his name and set her phone to her ear waiting for him to answer.

He did on the second ring with a tentative 'hello'.

"I got your gift." she said simply.

"Do you like it?" John asked quietly.

Joss sat down on her couch where the gift rested. "An all expense paid for trip to Hawaii…uh, I love it."

"It's a trip for two. I figured you could take Taylor with you to spend some time together."

She nodded, doubting Taylor would want to spend a week away from Hayley even for a Hawaiian trip. "Why did you give me it today and not tomorrow though?"

He was quiet for several minutes. "I thought it was tradition for you to find a gift while you were out?"

She felt her heart melt. How John ever thought he wasn't a good man still was a mystery in itself? "You remembered that?" she whispered.

"I always remember what you tell me."

"Does that include when I tell you to not do something illegal?" she demanded, swallowing the rising desire to ask where they stood.

He softly laughed. "Sometimes you need to break a few eggs to save a life."

She snorted as she fingered the trip info. "That's _still_ not the saying John." she retorted before they slid into silence. "We're still on for tomorrow right?"

"If you still want to come over." he said, now sounding hesitant.

"Why wouldn't I want too?—you're the one that kissed me and have been avoiding me because of it," she accused.

"Carter…"

"Never mind, forget I said anything. I'll see you tomorrow," she said softly, not wanting to fight. Not tonight.

"Goodnight, Joss…."

"Goodnight John," she responded and when they hung up Joss ran a hand through her hair losing herself in her thoughts.

Taylor came barrowing down the stairs, breaking her from her thoughts, as she didn't know how long she was sitting there just thinking. "I thought you were going to put _Terminator_ on." he questioned.

She got to her feet. "I will be in a minute."

"What's that?" Taylor asked nodding to the gift she had just opened.

"A gift from John." she replied as she gathered it up. "And you asked if I was okay with just friendship with John if that was all he would offer….no, I have no intentions of settling for just friendship with him."

Taylor grinned. "I knew it! You never settle for anything."

Joss smiled in return. "Let me go grab some milk and then we can put the movie on." she said as she walked away. Tomorrow she was going to get the best present of all: John himself.

* * *

AN: Joss is about to grab the bull by the horns ;D

Thanks for reading!


	12. Twelve Happy Endings

_**AN: I'm sorry this took me again a while to post but I was sick. Hope you enjoy!**_

* * *

 **On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…**

 **Twelve Happy Endings  
**

Joss felt nervous. She had her dessert in one hand and John's gifts resting at her feet near his door as she stood at the door waiting for him to open up. She had gone through her entire wardrobe and back until she settled on a long sleeve velvet crimson dress, with a scoop neckline which gave a hint of cleavage, and knee-high stiletto boots. She used a long gold chain and a black belt to add a little something to her simple ensemble. That and her Santa hat she was wearing.

The door opened and she smiled as she came face to face with John. "Merry Christmas!" she spoke softly as she eyed John in his tight blue jeans and sapphire blue sweater. He looked like a regular Joe that was so sexy it physically hurt to look at him.

"Merry Christmas Carter," he replied quietly before bending to pick up the two Christmas gifts on the floor beside her. He frowned as one was relatively large and somewhat heavy. He hoped she hadn't spent a lot of money on whatever she got.

John stepped back to let Carter in. He was still unsure of himself around her since their kiss at his office party. He had stayed away to mull over what it meant; he never got caught up in a moment as he had at that office Christmas party. Shaw and Root, who he was still angry with, for faking Leslie's number, presented a reasonable explanation of why he should stop denying how he felt about Carter.

" _Carter makes you sickeningly happy, Reese. Don't you want to be happy?—you've been sappy Sal for practically forever, ever since I've known you. Go for it; you two already played tongue wrestling and she was into it so what do you have to lose?"_

John shook Shaw's words off as he realized he was staring at Joss, holding her gifts, and the door remained wide open. "Dinner's almost ready," he said as he kicked the door closed behind them carrying the gifts to the tree that she had helped decorate.

Joss watched him from near the door as she set her dessert down on the table next to her to remove her coat and hang it up next to his on the hook. Her eyes lingered on his backside as she smoothed imaginary lines on her dress before flipping her hair over her shoulders and grabbed the dessert once more. The elephant in the room of the kiss he laid on her and the swirling tension was thick and heavy between them. She hadn't known what to expect the moment they came face to face; hadn't known what to expect from John in particular, but all her worries were for naught. John wasn't distant but rather seemed to be pretending the kiss never happened…again. For now she would let him but when the right time came tonight she was going to bare what her desires were for their future that had nothing to do with friendship.

She inhaled the delicious aroma seeping out of his kitchen making her stomach growl. "What are we having?" she asked as John still had yet to turn around, he was taking an awful long time setting those gifts under the tree. John just couldn't take a surprise could he?

"I made Thai green curry chicken with a side of baked sweet potatoes and yams." he answered slowly as he tried to figure out the gifts.

Her brows rose as she had no idea he knew how to make anything Thai. "You can cook Thai?" she asked incredulously.

He laughed as he turned around and his smile froze on his face as his gaze went from head to toe on her and she shivered at the slow but very appreciative gaze. Joss felt warmed by his eyes' sweet caress. "Making Thai might be a big mistake, John, because if it's better than my favorite Thai restaurant's food I'll be hitting you up whenever I get a hankering," she teased which broke John out of his trance-like state.

"Yea," he said with a loud clearing of his throat.

She liked that she rendered John speechless. "Well now my dessert seems to pale in comparison to what you made but I hope you like fudge brownies with chocolate icing and M&Ms on top."

Joss never saw the look that crossed John's handsome face before. And he didn't wait long to explain it to her. "Who needs dinner," John murmured as he licked his lips, moving close to her as he took the plateful of brownies and lifted one end of the tin foil up before she smacked his hand.

"Do I need to hide these?" she remarked with a smirk. "Or do you have enough self-control to leave these be until after dinner and presents?"

"I guess we'll see," he said pouting a little as he carried the brownies to his kitchen.

Joss swallowed back a laugh at John's literal pout at not getting to snack on a brownie before dinner. She itched to get her hands on him but she had to remind herself that if she remained patient maybe good things would come of it. John reappeared carrying two glasses of champagne holding out one for her which she happily took.

They sat down together on his couch with respective space between them and she sipped the champagne slowly. "Did I tell you that you look nice Carter?" he asked.

She sighed as she leaned back. Nice. That was all? Well it was better than hearing that she looked badass. "No. But thank you," she muttered. Silence blanketed the room. It felt different between them. She was struggling with her own personal vow to wait for the right moment to broach the subject of his kiss and that he said he wanted her. But she didn't want to ruin this evening before it began. "Present time!" she announced, breaking the silence, causing John to look at her strangely. "What?—we're adults and can open presents first."

He smiled a little. John was grateful since it would be a diversion from the uncomfortable silence but also because it was gnawing at his curiosity to know what she got him.

They both got up and grabbed their gifts to each other. Once they sat back down he set his aside to watch Carter open hers first. She eyed him with a frown. "Isn't a Hawaiian vacation enough of a present?" she demanded.

"It's not much, Carter."

Joss looked down and tore into the wrapping paper of the large but rather light box. She opened it and grinned. Inside the box was a large beige straw floppy hat with red embroidered roses, and lying aside it were Gucci sunglasses.

She looked up as she pulled out her gifts. "I figured any self-respecting Hawaiian vacationer has to have a straw hat and sunglasses," he murmured as an explanation.

She didn't respond as she set the gold and black Gucci sunglasses on her face before removing her Santa hat to replace it with her new straw hat. She struck a pose as he stared at her. "How do I look?" she asked.

"Beautiful," he breathed. Joss smiled at the natural and honest answer. He cleared his throat. "I meant you look beach bound."

"Uh-huh, sure you did," she replied with a smirk before plopping the large heavy gift on his lap. "Now it's your turn to open my gifts."

John ripped into the wrapping paper and smirked now that his curiosity was finally whetted because the large heavy gift was a large bulletproof case meant to house some of his hardware. "Thank you, Carter."

She shrugged. "Since you liked my mobile gun collection I figured you could use your own case since it would be much better than that duffel bag of goodies you lug around." she retorted. Joss had purposely had him open this gift first because she was far more excited to see him open the next one. It really held more sentimental significance than a bulletproof case for his guns. She hemmed and hawed over buying it but ultimately couldn't resist as she set the much lighter gift on his lap.

John gave it a little shake to figure out what it was which seemed to annoy Carter. "Open it!" she huffed as she took off the sunglasses and hat setting them beside her.

"Patience, Carter," he admonished teasingly which earned him a scowl. After a moment he gave in and ripped into the present that resembled something you'd put clothes in. Maybe she got him a jacket and was itching to see if he liked it?

He opened the box and pushed through the tissue paper and froze as he saw the camo waders.

Joss felt nervous as she watched John stop immediately as he eyed the gift. "I know you don't fish anymore. But, like you, I remember everything you tell me. And sometimes it's the things you don't say that mean more than what you do. When you told me about getting camo waders just like your dad I could see how much that moment meant to you; to be like your dad and when you grew up you wanted to be a good man like him," she rambled her explanation as he sat there staring at the waders, fingering them. "I noticed when I came over while you were sick that you didn't have any personal items so I wanted to give you a little piece of your childhood back; to give you a little piece of your father back."

He looked up and Joss couldn't read his expression. She licked her lips before trying to joke; "You could trade in your suit and gun for these waders and a fishing pole. Instead of being the man-in-the-suit you could be known as the man-in-the-waders that's a threat to the local bass population rather than kneecaps."

John leaned forward and kissed her to shut her up. This gift meant more to him than anything and he couldn't explain how much it meant to him so he'd show her. He pulled back after kissing her tenderly but briefly. "Thank you," he whispered, to hide how moved he was. "These mean a lot to me."

She licked her lips. They were on the cusp of something more and she had to tread carefully here if she wanted what she truly desired for Christmas: John, to admit to what was between them so they could go from there.

"Your gift is pretty special too," she said softly. It wasn't every day she was gifted with an all-expenses paid vacation, for two, to Hawaii.

"I know Taylor is growing up fast and this will probably be your last chance to have a vacation together," John murmured. It was why he wanted to give her a vacation as a present; he knew how much she loved her son and how much Taylor loved her. Joss would never take a vacation and he wanted to give her something he knew she'd never give herself.

She smiled. "About that…Taylor isn't going." she admitted. John eyed her questioningly. She shrugged. "Taylor and Hayley want to spend New Year's in Times Square. As much as a Hawaiian vacation with his mom sounds like fun he much rather be with the girl that he's falling in love with to ring in the New Year," she explained.

"Oh." John sounded as he frowned. He hadn't anticipated that Taylor had plans already made with his girlfriend. "Well, I can try to change the date to sometime in January…"

She shook her head. "Don't. I have someone else in mind to come with me and Taylor thinks it's a good idea."

"Your mother?"

She rolled her eyes at that; her mother hated flying even if it was to a sunny destination rather than cold ole' New York, but did she really have to beat it over his head as to who she wanted to come with her to ring in the New Year with. "Not my mother, John; I want you to come with me," she stated simply.

"Me?"

"Yea, I think you could stand having a vacation yourself. And it will give us plenty of time to explore these feelings we have for each other without any nosy friends around or dead bodies and numbers to work." she replied. Joss wouldn't mind ringing the New Year with John in bed making love for the first time…go out of 2013 with a bang, as Shaw would say, quite literally.

John got to his feet setting the waders on the couch. "I don't think us sharing a Hawaiian vacation is a good idea, Joss." His calling her Joss, not Carter, did not go unnoticed.

She climbed to her feet too. "Why not?—Finch has Shaw to help him with the numbers. He even has Root to help if need be. New York can stand to have the man-in-the-suit on hiatus for a little while," she reasoned.

"It's your Christmas gift."

Joss laughed. "And I want to share it with you," she insisted. "Perhaps the reason you feel like you can't come with me has more to do with you being unable to shy away from the fact that you want me."

"Joss…"

Her lips thinned. "John we aren't just friends anymore. You lost the chance to convince me of that when you kissed me at your office Christmas party."

John ran a hand through his hair. "I wasn't going to try to convince you of anything, Joss. I don't know what to do anymore; staying away and ignoring how I feel isn't working," he whispered avoiding eye contact. "There's just something about you, Joss."

Joss felt a ray of hope eclipse her heart at the honest answer. She stepped forward and grabbed his big hands. "I know what we should do: we should go for it. Take a leap of faith with me, John."

"I can't lose you. Everyone I ever got close to is gone, Joss," he spoke softly as he gently squeezed her hands.

She stared at him. Fear was a powerful emotion but so was love. "You think this doesn't scare the hell out of me?—then you lost your beautiful mind, John. No one has meant as much as you do to me. The thought of losing you is unfathomable. I failed twice at love but somehow I feel like those past experiences have led me right here, to this point…to you. With Paul I was too weak; I was young and thought love would conquer all. With Cal I was too strong and let my trust issues of past come between us. But with you; I'm not strong or weak, I'm just me."

John felt all the reasons of why they couldn't ever possibly work crumbling around him except one. "Joss, how can we work? I live in the shadows, without a name, without a life," he whispered.

Joss let his hands go to slowly weave hers around his neck. Her answer to this needed to be perfect as somehow in her heart she knew this was what was keeping that barrier between her and John erected.

"I know you, John, the real you; the one that no one sees. And he does have a name; it isn't the dark or a monster but rather just a man with a past that has haunted him. I know you won't agree with me but you're a pretty damn amazing man. You have a life, John; one that's filled with saving lives at risk of your own, with friends that are your dysfunctional family, and you have a woman that's falling hard for you and wants more than friendship," she explained wholeheartedly. "It won't always be perfect; we'll fight and makeup, have good days and bad because we are both stubborn. But it's worth a shot; love is always worth a shot. Just the question is: are you willing to try?"

John stared at her before he bent down and kissed her. She moaned in the back of her throat because she felt the invisible barrier between them crumble down around them. This kiss was different from the previous two; the first was tentative, the second was explosive, but this third was liberating. It felt freeing. They weren't pretending anymore and the weight of their disguise was lifted. She kissed him back with eager anticipation of what was to come. His kiss was the fuel to light a fire inside her that began in the pit of her belly that slowly expanded throughout her entire soul.

John pulled back with a shaky breath. "Dinner is going to burn." he said raggedly. Each time he kissed her was better than the last. Pretty soon just kissing her wasn't going to be enough.

"It can burn for all I care. Who needs dinner?" she muttered what he said earlier.

He chuckled a little at that as he leaned his forehead against hers. "Do I need to hide?" he wondered.

She smiled as she stared at his chest where skin peeked out from under his sweater as if taunting her. "With the way you kiss you just might," she replied honesty. Her lips were tingling, swollen, and thoroughly kissed. That kiss sure summed up how he felt on whether or not he was willing to give them a try. Maybe after dinner and dessert, in place of opening presents since they already did that, they could curl up on his couch and make out. "Come with me to Hawaii, so we can begin the new year right: together."

John's hand seemed to have a mind of its own as it remained on her hips and gently massaged there. "Yes," he said.

She leaned her head back to look up at him. "Yes?" she repeated. He smiled a little shy smile as he nodded. Joss hugged him and he returned the embrace warmly. "Thank you for giving me the greatest gift," she whispered in his ear.

"I'm no gift, Joss."

"You are to me."

* * *

AN: Welp, this was where I was going to say 'Merry Christmas' to everyone but since I barely finished posting this before Valentine's Day I'll just say: hope you enjoyed.

Thank you for reading!


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